Page 69 of Just This Once

WHIP

Interviews weremy time to shine.

Typically I could sit back, relax, and confidently convey how I planned to successfully execute the requirements of the job before me. That was significantly more difficult to do when you were sitting across from your boss and remembering exactly how hard his daughter made you come the night before.

Chief Martin studied me from across the table as he and a panel of interviewers reviewed their questions and took note of my final answers. Sweat prickled at my hairline, and I shifted in the hard plastic seat.

I sat at his table, ate his food. Jesus, the things I did to his sweet little girl...

Guilt racked me, and I couldn’t muster the balls to look Chief Martin in the eye. Instead, I directed my next answer to the battalion chief. I was the first to interview, which was fine by me. Word had spread that only the top three candidates were getting interviews, and I was happy to set the bar by which the others would be judged. Only now I was starting to panic that the bar I set would be pathetically low.

Chief Martin’s face was unreadable as he sat back in his seat and made a final note on the pad of paper beside him. “Thankyou for your time. We’ll be letting all candidates know our final decision in the upcoming days.”

I nodded and stood, holding my hand out to him. “Thank you, sir.”

I made my way around the room, shaking each interviewer’s hand before making a hasty exit. Once the door clicked closed behind me, I tugged at my tie, pulling it from around my neck and stuffing it in my pocket.

“Aww, Bill. Don’t tell me you’re nervous.” Lee Sullivan’s smart-ass laugh grated on my nerves. He was dressed in his navy tactical pants and OFD T-shirt. I couldn’t wait to get out of my suit.

“I’m not nervous. I’m late for my shift.” I brushed him off, pulling my dress shirt from the waistband of my pants and walking down the hall toward the barracks so I could change.

“Relax. I’m just busting your balls,” Lee called after me. I turned in time to see him pop an M&M into his mouth. “You’ve got this in the bag.”

I didn’t need a vote of confidence from Lee fucking Sullivan of all people.

For a fraction of a second, I wondered what it must have been like—growing up without having to constantly prove your worth to a man who was supposed to love you. To have a mother who didn’t pack her shit and leave you behind for something better.

Only, what if she didn’t?

I stuffed down the very thought that had been nagging me ever since Bug shoved that box into my arms. It taunted me from the corner of my workshop, where I’d dumped it. I had no fucking clue why I had the urge to hang the denim jacket in the back of my closet, only that it felt too depressing to leave it crumpled in a forgotten cardboard box.

Resting my forearms on the top bunk, I let my head hang. Even having thethoughtsI was having was a betrayal of the King name.

I just couldn’t seem to shrug off the feeling that there was somethingmore. Something I was missing.

Despite years of trying to forget, it was easy to remember how drastically our lives changed—how distinctly my childhood could be separated intobeforeandafter.

I had often thought that my younger siblings were the lucky ones, too young to remember her at all. But there had to be something that I was missing. Maybe Abel or Royal remembered something I hadn’t noticed or had forgotten in time. Something that made sense of why our mother’s belongings would be shoved in a box and buried in a basement.

I knew my father had the answers, but I could never go to him. The person closest to him, my younger brother JP, couldn’t be trusted. He was only a few years away from becoming exactly the man my father wanted him to be. He was more and more like our dad with every passing year.

I dug my phone from my pocket and fired off a text to my older brothers and hoped it wasn’t the first of many mistakes.

We need to talk. It’s big.

Royal

If you’re trying to come out of the closet, it’s no big deal. We already know.

Fuck off.

Abel

Royal, stop being a dipshit. But seriously, Whip, if that’s it, we’re cool with it.

I sighedand rolled my eyes to the ceiling. I was in the middle of a crisis, and my brothers were taking the opportunity to bust my balls.

It’s about Mom.

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