Page 15 of Just This Once

I went over every moment I could recall from the general store to the Grudge, to the hours tangled in my sheets, trying to find the exact moment I fucked it up. Despite my obsession with figuring it out, I couldn’t pinpoint what it was about me and our night together that had sent her running.

Not even her hurried exit or the high five kept me from attempting to track her down. Despite her insistence she wasn’t a librarian, I still made calls to nearby libraries and searched their websites, seeing if anyone named Emily was on staff. Of course, I had come up empty. I tried to ask around without raising too many questions, but in a tourist town, it proved impossible.

It wasn’t until I came face-to-face with her that a tiny spark of hope ignited. The woman had disappeared like an echo on the wind, but somehow she was back in Outtatowner and teaching junior high.

Not a librarian.

I should have known. The shock on her face made it clear she had recognized me, but my gut told me she wasn’t all that happy about it, so I didn’t press the issue. I probably should leave well enough alone, but her immediate about-face rejection gnawed atme. Normally I was the first to bail when things started getting serious, so it was a blow to the ego for her to beat me to it.

Afterward, I had sat on my bed and felt so...used.

“William.” Chief Martin’s voice shook me from my thoughts, and I tossed aside the kitchen towel. “My office. Now.”

“Yes, sir.”

I followed behind my chief toward the row of offices in the fire station. Lee lifted his chin in my direction, and I flipped him my middle finger, earning a grin from him.

When we entered, Chief Joseph Martin stood behind his desk. He was on the shorter side, stocky yet strong, with white strands lightening his auburn hair. Chief was the kind of dude who took care of himself, even working out during our shifts if he had the time. He was a man who demanded the best from his crew, but never asked someone to do a job he wasn’t willing to do himself. “Close the door, son.”

I turned, ignoring the hot poker that jabbed my ribs anytime he called me that.

“I debriefed with Captain Jones about the call at the junior high today. I was glad to hear everything went smoothly.”

I nodded. “Yes, sir.”

His assessing eyes rolled over me, and I straightened, unwilling to let him see me squirm under his gaze.

“Jones said you took the lead, stayed levelheaded. That’s not easy when children are involved, but that’s exactly the kind of leadership we need in a lieutenant.”

Quiet buzzing filled my head.

“Truth is, you’re not getting any younger,” Chief continued. “But you have a real future here...ifyou want it.”

My insides went tight.Did I want it?Moving up in the ranks would be so fucking satisfying, but every time I thought about it, visions of my father’s own social climbing tainted the very idea.Having a son as a lieutenant would be the exact type of thing Russell King would exploit to his advantage.

I sat up. “I hadn’t really considered it, sir.”

Chief laughed. “Well, you should. My advice? Keep your head down. Don’t let things like petty family rivalries or women distract you from what’s important. Too many in our unit forget what’s really important—they get caught up in the attention and ass-patting that comes along with the job. Stay focused and the promotion is as good as yours.”

Having the respect of someone I held in high regard was unnerving.Why the hell would he be considering me?

I learned a long time ago that anytime I get my hopes up, people let me down.Still, I knew arguing with my chief was pointless. “Thank you, sir.”

Chief tossed his pen onto the desk. “Very well. Now get out of here.”

With a grin and a jaunty salute, I turned on my heels and headed back to finish preparing lunch.

Stay focused and the promotion is as good as yours.

For the first time in what felt like forever, hope for something better bloomed in my chest.

I tuggedat the too-tight collar of my shirt. Standing in the banquet hall, the shiny black shoes of my Class A dress uniform pinched my toes.

The Outtatowner Emergency Services annual awards banquet was an excuse for everyone in our department to get together and celebrate our achievements for the year. Awards included firefighter of the year, meritorious awards, and Chief’s Company—a hand-selected group of men and women receivedthis honorary title as a reflection of exemplary service and reflected who Chief Martin would want in his company. These were the people our chief considered the best of the best.

The most coveted award, however, was saved for last.

A few years ago, my fellow firefighter Connor had been thrift shopping with his on-again, off-again girlfriend when he came across a replica of the marble Hercules and Diomedes statue. An homage to Hercules’s strength and masculinity, the Italian statue portrayed Hercules wrestling with Diomedes and besting him... all while Diomedes is tugging on his dick.

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