Page 38 of When Kings Fall

Diarmuid has Selene on the floor, and he’s talking to her in that deep, steady voice of his, the one that usually makes me afraid, but now it’s the only thing keeping me from drifting away. She’s whispering something back. I can’t make out the words.

I’ve never fired a gun before. I don’t know anything about them beyond point-and-shoot. It was luck or instinct—or maybe something else—that made the shot hit him. I don’t even remember aiming.

I had to do it. Diarmuid was underwater. He was drowning. I had to.

“Niamh.”

His voice pulls me back, dragging me up through the haze. It’s deep, like thunder, but calm, reassuring. He says my name again, and this time I hear him. I blink and try to focus on his face. He looks concerned but not scared. Not like me. I must look terrified. I hadn’t noticed he moved away from Selene.

“You’re in shock,” he says, kneeling down in front of me. “Just breathe.”

Shock. Yes, that makes sense. What happened was shocking.

“Selene’s awake,” he adds, glancing at her. “She’s dizzy, but she’ll be fine.”

I nod, but the words are sluggish like they have to push through something thick to reach me. He’s telling me aboutwhat happens next, about the plan, about going home. And then Selene groans.

“No,” she says, voice weak but sharp with frustration. “We’re close. We’re so close to avenging Sophia Hughes. We can’t stop now.”

Diarmuid looks at her, his jaw clenched. He doesn’t care about Sophia Hughes. He never did. But Selene and I do. I can feel it rising in me, that anger, that determination. He can’t stop us now, not when we’re this close.

“We can’t just leave!” I say, the words escaping before I realize I’m shouting. “We’re here. We’ve come this far.”

Diarmuid’s eyes narrow, and I can see the frustration building in him, but this time, he doesn’t intimidate me. This isn’t just about him. It’s about all of us.

Diarmuid stands, towering over both of us, his expression unreadable, but I know him well enough to catch the storm brewing behind his eyes.

“This isn’t just about you two,” he says in a hard voice. “This isn’t about avenging Sophia Hughes. This is about keeping the three of us alive. You almost drowned, both of you. And you think I’ll risk more than that?”

He glances between us, but I can feel his gaze burning into me more than Selene. I know why. It’s not just Selene’s recklessness he’s angry about. It’s mine, too.

“I can’t protect you both if you keep making decisions like this.”

Selene pushes herself up, wobbling on unsteady legs, but she glares at Diarmuid, determined. Even now, when she looks like she can barely stand, she’s not backing down.

“You don’t get it,” she says, her voice trembling with emotion. “This isn’t just about me. I thought it was. I thought it was my mission. But it’s not—this is about us. What we’re doing here… it affects all of us. It’s not just me anymore. I know that.”

Her words hit me hard because I’ve felt it, too. This isn’t just her obsession anymore, her need to chase ghosts, to seek revenge for a woman who was murdered in the shadows. It’s ours. The weight of it presses down on all of us.

“You’re reckless,” Diarmuid snaps. “You risk everything without thinking, and if I hadn’t—”

“I know,” Selene interrupts, her voice breaking. “I know! I put you both in danger because I couldn’t let go of this. But I’m not doing this for me anymore. I’m doing it for us.”

Diarmuid looks at her, his expression softening for just a moment before his anger returns. He opens his mouth to argue again, but I can’t take it anymore. The weight of what I’ve done—killing that man, saving them—presses down on me like a tidal wave, and I can’t keep quiet.

“Stop,” I say, my voice trembling. “Just stop.”

They both turn to me. My hands are shaking, and I press them to my sides to steady myself.

“I’m sorry,” I say, my throat tight. “I’m sorry for not saying this sooner, for keeping it all inside, but I can’t hold back anymore.”

They’re both silent, watching me. I take a deep breath.

“I’ve been so scared—scared of losing you, scared of what would happen if I let myself care too much. I built this wall around my heart because I thought it would protect me. I thought if I didn’t let myself get too close, I wouldn’t have to feel this fear. But I was wrong. I was so wrong.”

The words pour out of me, words I didn’t even know I had, and I can feel the tension in the room shift as they listen. Diarmuid’s face softens, and Selene’s eyes fill with something like understanding.

“This isn’t just about Ella,” I continue, my voice quieter now. “I’ve been so afraid of losing her, of failing her, that I forgot about what I have right here in front of me. I forgot about us.”

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