Page 61 of Mine for a Moment

She nods, and I hold my arms out for her. She tries her best to blink back her tears, only for a sob to tear through her throat when she hugs me, her head on my shoulder. I hold her tightly, gently rubbingher back, and all the while, my own heart shatters into a thousand pieces. It’d destroy her if she found out about Archer and me, and I don’t think I could live with myself if I did that to her. I don’t think Archer could either, so where does that leave us?

“He doesn’t love me anymore,” she sobs. “I can tell, Serenity. He’s trying so hard, and he’s so good to me, but I can see it in his eyes. I was so certain that I’d come home, and every argument we’ve ever had would be forgotten, and we’d get back together. The memory of him is the only reason I survived, and now…I don’t have anything left. I don’t dare leave this house, and I can’t dance anymore, and even Archer…I don’t even have him anymore. I just…maybe I just should’ve…”

“Come with me,” I whisper. “There’s something I’d like to show you.”

She takes my hand and follows me to Archer’s home office, where we moved most of my bulkier art supplies to when Ezra moved in. Her eyes widen in surprise when she sees the canvas propped up in the corner. Her body shakes as she approaches it carefully, disbelief written all over her face.

“Archer asked me to paint that for him,” I tell her, my voice breaking. “I’ve been working on it for nearly six months now, and it’s finally done. He wouldn’t have asked me to paint you living your biggest dreams if he didn’t love you.”

It kills me to say it, but I know it’s true. Each brushstroke hurt more than the last, but nothing compares to the pain of watching her look at Archer’s quiet proclamation of love for her…crafted bymyhands.

“You haven’t left the house yet, but the passcode to enter his home is your birthday backwards. The code to his phone is too but the right way around. You’re an inextricable part of him, Tyra. You always will be. He never let you go, and he never will.”

She turns to look at me, and for the first time since she returned, there’s a touch of hope in her eyes. I don’t have it in me to extinguish it when her love for Archer is what gives her the will to live, to fight.

Fifty-One

Serenity

I sit up in bed at the sound of Tyra’s agonized cries, and Archer’s soothing voice soon follows. “Tyra,” I hear him say. “I’m right here with you. You’re safe in my arms, Ty.”

Her cries start to sound muffled, and my eyes flutter closed when I realize he must be hugging her, the two of them cuddled up in bed.

I sniffle softly, fresh tears escaping my own eyes. I’ve never felt such intense self-loathing, nor have I ever felt this kind of twisted jealousy blended with shame. He tells me he loves me, but it’s clear he still loves her too. Maybe not in the way he used to, but he does, and if I didn’t love her just as much, I’d resent him for it.

I slip out of bed as she begins to cry in earnest, repeating his name over and over again, almost like she’s stuck in a memory. The mere thought of her having prayed his name like that while she was held hostage tears me to pieces, and I can’t listen to this. Not without hating myself for every touch, every stolen moment that should’ve been hers.

I pause in surprise when I walk into the hallway to find Ezra standing in front of their door, his gaze cutting to mine. He doesn’tsay anything as I walk past him and into the living room, his footsteps quiet behind me. “Let’s have some tea,” he says, his voice hoarse. “I can’t sleep either.”

I hesitate, my fingers itching with the need to paint. It’s the only way I know to process my emotions, to ease the pain. My eyes flutter closed when I remember that some of my supplies are still in Archer’s spare room—Tyra’s room.It’s irrational and it’s unfair, but for one single moment, bitterness rushes through me.

“Here,” Ezra says, taking a seat at the kitchen island. I join him reluctantly, wishing I could just walk out of here and escape for a few hours. Instead, I sit down opposite my brother and warm my hands on the mug he hands me, my favorite one, the one Archer and I bought when he took me to Italy.

“You look like you haven’t slept in weeks,” I tell him, knowing full well that I probably look the same.

He grimaces and takes a sip of his tea. “How could I?” he asks, his voice breaking. “It hurts to hear her fall apart like that every damn night and being unable to take away her pain.” He pushes a hand into his hair and takes a shaky breath. “Hell, even if I could, it isn’t me she wants.”

Ezra looks away, almost like he realizes what he just said, and I stare at him in disbelief, unsure what to say. That look in his eyes…it isn’t just concern. His feelings for her extend beyond friendship, and I can’t believe I missed it. How long has he felt that way? “I’m sorry, Ezra,” I murmur, my heart aching. “Give her some time. He’s just…Archer is just the person she’s most comfortable with right now, but that doesn’t mean that—”

“It’s fine,” he says, cutting me off, forcing a smile. “It’s just that she’s been my best friend my whole life, and it’s killing me that I can’t be there for her when she needs me most. I get why it’s Archer sheneeds, but fuck, I wish she’d rely a little on me too.” He knocks his tea back and rises from his seat. “I’m just going to try to get some sleep,” he tells me. “I’d tell you that you should too, but I know you won’t. Just be careful, okay? Wear a thick coat when you go out, and don’t get caught.”

My eyes widen a fraction, and my brother smiles at me knowingly. I part my lips to ask him how he knows what I’d been planning to do, but he just gently pushes a strand of my hair out of my face. “The charm you lost on the night Archer caught you? The one that he now wears around his neck like a damn trophy? Did you forget I had that handmade for you? It’s one of a kind.” He smiles ruefully. “You also seem to have forgotten that we can track each other’s locations.”

My breath hitches. “You knew,” I murmur, and I think we both know it’s not just my art we’re talking about now. He knows about all of my trips with Archer, the fact that I was always with him while Ezra was gone.

He nods. “I wish you’d told me, and honestly, I wish you hadn’t ever felt the need to resort to it at all. Your work belongs on canvases, not on abandoned buildings. I should’ve stood up for you when I noticed Mom pressuring you to give up painting. I should’ve realized that you’d stopped painting when you went to college, and I should’ve asked why. Tyra would have.”

I look away, unable to refute his words. If not for her, I’d have given up so much sooner. Even when I first tried out street art, it was because of her. I owe her so much, and all I’ve given her in return is betrayal of the worst kind.

“She needs him,” Ezra says, his tone pleading. “You know that, don’t you?”

My head snaps up, my stomach dropping. That look in his eyes renders me speechless for a moment. “I…yes, of course I know that.”

Ezra studies my face, and then he looks down at his feet. “I’m sorry, Serenity.”

I almost ask him what he’s sorry for, but I don’t want to talk to him about Archer. Not when it’s clear that he doesn’t think Archer would ever choose me. I’d been hopeful when he told me that Archer seemed happier after we’d been together awhile, but I should’ve heeded his warning.

I’m worried about the girl he’s seeing and what it’ll do to her to realize she’ll never have all of him.

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