Page 60 of Mine for a Moment

He pushes himself back up on his forearms to look at me. “Is it because of him?” he asks, his expression mirroring the insecurity I’vebeen feeling. “You were only seeing me to get over him, and now you don’t need to anymore,” he says, throwing my own venom-laced words back at me. “When you told me something along those lines, who were you really talking about?”

I push against his chest, sitting up as anger ignites deep in my chest. “I’m not the one sleeping next to Theo every night, holding him in my arms and consoling him. I don’t make you watch as he hugs me, looking up at me like I’m his whole world.”

“Don’t you?” he snaps, sitting up too. “You aren’t clueless, Serenity. You knew it’d fucking kill me to watch him wrap his arm around you like that, at my own fucking office.”

“You think it doesn’t hurt to watch Tyra touch you like you’re still hers? Every time I see you with her, I’m just reminded that everything that I thought was mine was merely borrowed. What do you think that does to me, Archer?”

I try my best to blink back my tears, but they fall nonetheless. Archer instantly cradles my face, the fight leaving his eyes. “I never meant to hurt you, darling,” he whispers, his forehead falling to mine. “What do you want me to do?” he asks, his voice breaking. “I can’t turn her away when she needs me, Serenity. There’s nothing romantic about it—not to me. You know that, don’t you?”

I pull back to look into his eyes, unsure if I believe him. “I told you once that I never wanted to take her place, and I still don’t. I love her too, Archer. More than you could possibly understand. You have no idea how torn up I am about this whole situation, how sick it makes me feel to want you when she needs you in a way I can’t even comprehend. I don’t know how to deal with the jealousy I feel when I don’t think I’m even entitled to it. I…”

“You are,” he says, his voice breaking. “Youareentitled to me. I love you, Serenity. With all I am. All I have.”

I stare at him speechlessly, not even aware of the tears that have begun to stream down my face until he catches them with his thumbs.

“I love your heart, your soul. I love you for who you are, every single aspect of you. I’m yours, Serenity Adesina, whether you’ll have me or not.”

“I love you too,” I tell him, only to fully burst into tears at the admission. “Oh God, I love you so much, and I shouldn’t. Archer, we shouldn’t. We can’t. We both love her, and we can’t do this to her. You know we can’t.”

He takes me into his arms and holds me tightly, his silence speaking volumes. He knows as well as I do that us being together would inflict more harm on the one person that can’t take any more of it. “We’ll figure it out,” he says, his hand moving over my back soothingly. “I’m at as much of a loss as you are, but there’s one thing I’m absolutely certain of: I won’t let you go, Serenity. I don’t ever want to go back to a life in which you aren’t mine.”

Fifty

Serenity

I look up when Theo places a cup of coffee on my desk, a sweet smile on his face. “Don’t do that,” he murmurs, his gaze roaming over me. “Don’t avoid me because of what I said.”

“I’m not,” I reply weakly. Truthfully, I haven’t even thought about him. All I’ve been able to think about all day is my conversation with Archer last night and how it felt to fall asleep next to him, only to wake up alone. I’d felt a bit more at ease until I saw him coming out of the room he now shares with Tyra, and I realized he’d left me at night to join her in bed.

Theo sighs and drags his chair over. “I know you well enough to know you’re avoiding me. I can handle rejection, Serenity. What I can’t handle is losing you altogether. If friendship is all you’re able to give me, then I’ll happily take that.”

I nod, unsure what to say. I loved him for years, but what I felt for him pales in comparison to my feelings for Archer, and I can’t tell what’s real anymore. I waited so long for one single chance with Theo, and it feels like I’m wasting this opportunity, like I owe it tomyself to at least think about it…when I truly don’t even remotely want to.

“I know, Theo. I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to avoid you, but I guess I subconsciously did just that.”

He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I don’t want you to apologize for doing what’s right for you, even if it hurts me,” he tells me, looking away.

His words startle me, but I nod nonetheless. He takes one more look at me, and then he rolls his chair back to his own desk, leaving me staring at him. It isn’t hard to remember why I fell for him in the first place. If he’d never started dating Kristen, would we have found our way to each other by now? It’s all I can think about all the way home—all the what-ifs. What if Tyra had never gone missing? What if I’d had the courage to confess my feelings for Theo sooner? What if I’d followed my dreams instead of turning to street art, and I’d never ended up at Serenity Solutions? Would Archer and I, despite all of that, still have found our way to each other?

I’m absent-minded when I walk in, only to find Tyra standing in the living room, her hands held up in defense and her eyes wide. It takes me a moment to realize that I accidentally slammed the door closed—loud sounds trigger her. Tears fill her eyes, and her breathing becomes ragged as I take a step forward, panic taking hold of her and consuming her whole.

“Tyra,” I murmur, my voice soft and placating. “It’s me. Serenity. It’s just me.”

Recognition flashes through her eyes, taking the edge off her panic, but she’s too far gone to regulate her breathing.

“I’m sorry, Ty,” I tell her, taking a step closer. “I’m so sorry. I really didn’t mean to startle you.”

Her shoulders relax, and I take another cautious step forward,carefully watching her to make sure she doesn’t recoil. She tries her best to breathe but only manages to choke in the process, tears streaming down her face as she sinks to the floor, burying her face in her hands.

“It’s okay,” I whisper as I kneel in front of her, my stomach twisting as guilt takes root. “Can I hold your hand?”

I hold mine out to her, letting her make the call. She’s been trying to hide it, but I noticed she doesn’t like to be touched if she isn’t the one taking initiative. Tyra looks into my eyes, her breathing slowly returning to normal as she takes my hand and squeezes tightly.

I sit with her like that, our hands joined, my thumb drawing soothing circles on her skin. It hurts to witness her fragility when I’d always admired her strength. She was someone I looked up to, the first one to protect me and stand up for me, even against my mother when need be. To know someone took that strength from her and broke her…it destroys me. She’s lost so much, and I can’t be the reason she loses anything else.

“I really need Archer,” she tells me, her expression pleading. “I don’t feel safe when he isn’t there, Serenity. I can’t…I can’t be without him. It’s so hard for me when he leaves for work, and lately he’s been staying gone for longer than before. I just keep thinking that someone is going to walk in and take me, and I’ll be trapped all over again, and this time, I won’t make it out alive.”

“You’re safe here,” I promise her. “No one but Archer, Ezra, or me can enter. There are multiple layers of security, and Archer hired extra security personnel that he’s stationed in the lobby and in the hallway. No one can get to you here, Tyra. I’m sure of it.”

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