Page 73 of Mutant Mine

“What do you mean?”

“Today, for the first time, I received a transmission. It is being broadcast all across this region of space. The message is a sequence of numbers: our subject numbers at Watergap. It canonlyhave been them.”

“What will you… Did you reply to the message?”

“Yes. I sent back my own number. They will recognize it, and trace the signal. They may even be with us by the morning.”

36

Roth

IT ISall exposed now. Spilled before her like guts from a split belly. Rory knows everything.

She let me get to the end of my tale without interrupting, except the occasional sharp gasp that she could not restrain, or a question to push me on when I faltered. But she has not yet delivered her verdict.

I look at the cup in my hands, afraid to meet her eyes. What will I see there? What must she think of me? My body is an affront against nature. Half of my ancestors were born in the black abyss of space.

I saw the deceased alien specimen, once, in a photograph. It looked like nothing else on Earth. Although it did occur to me, much later, to question: did it always look so grotesque? Or was that only oncetheywere finished with it?

We took the government’s word, that it was dead upon impact. But I have always wondered.

“Roth,” says Rory.

And here it comes. Her inevitable rejection. My grip on this ridiculous little teacup is so tight that I may shatter it.

“…I’m sorry.”

I look up at her at last, not understanding.

“What?”

Rory reaches across the table and tugs my hands away from the porcelain, arresting them with her own.

“I’m sorry everything that was done to you. I can’t even—” She shakes her head angrily, wiping away a tear. “And I’m so, so sorry that I didn’t trust you. If I had known…”

“I wanted to tell you,” I say. “So many times, I wished that I could tell you. But it was not safe. What happened at Watergap was completely covered up. The authorities will silence anyone who knows the truth.”

“That our government experiments on its people?”

I nod, then continue roughly:

“Little bird, please understand: I have only told you the truth now because my brothers are coming, and they can protect us. I would rather you believed the lies forever, andhatedme, than risk any harm coming to you.”

Rory makes an unhappy sound. “I see why you didn’t tell me, but… I would have understood, that’s all. I’m never going to judge you for anything that was done to you.”

She squeezes my hand, then asks cautiously:

“Is that why you never want me to… to touch you? Because of what’s been done to your body?”

I frown. Notwanther? How can she think such a thing?

“Little bird,” I say. “You cannot fathom all the ways that I want you. But… I know what I am. What I look like.”

She blinks at me for a moment.

“Okay,” she says. “Tell me. What do you look like?”

“I am made wrong, Rory,” I say, frustrated that she is being so obtuse. “Freakish. Unnatural. Choose whatever word you want — I amfrightening. There is no way that you could want me the way that I want you. And if you ever seemed to, how could either of us be sure that you were not simply intimidated or coerced? You have been stranded here with me, alone and vulnerable.”

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