Page 62 of Attraction & Repulsion

“Ma, this is Carson,” Jax said, his voice airy as if he was just as nervous as Carson. “And this is my Ma, Shirley.”

“How lovely it is to finally meet you. Jax has told me so much about you,” Shirley said before throwing her arms around Carson.

The hug was warm. Sincere. A true mother’s embrace; something Carson had never experienced. One time a classmate had made fun of her old, ratty shoes. When she had gotten home from school, seeking solace, her mother had scooted to the other side of the couch and instructed Carson to cry in her room.

“I’m so happy to finally meet you too,” Carson told her. Shirley smelled like vanilla, baked bread, and honey. Unlike her mother, who’d reeked of cigarettes and cheap wine. Would it be weird if she asked Shirley to never let go?

The front door squeaked open, and Billy and Marlo shuffled in with all the luggage.

“Go ahead and take those on up for them, Billy,” Shirley said, turning back to Carson. “I’ve made up beds for the both of you in Jax’s old room.”

“How’d Elizabeth do?” Marlo asked.

Shirley nodded to the bassinet in the living room just beyond the front entry. “She slept the entire time. Didn’t even make a noise.”

Marlo waved them on. “Come meet her.”

Carson followed everyone to the bassinet, which was covered in frills and bows. Marlo reached in and pulled out a tiny baby, so tiny that Carson thought she was a doll. Her little arms reached high above her small head, tinted with black hair, while her legs and feet curled up in the signature newborn scrunch.

Marlo snuck in a few kisses on Elizabeth’s itty-bitty cheeks before handing her over to Jax, his hands swallowing her whole. Tenderly, he cradled the infant, automatically bouncing her up and down. With one last wiggle, Elizabeth settled into his arms, falling back asleep.

“She’s so little,” Jax said, not taking his eyes off the baby.

“That’s what all the nurses said at the hospital. They kept asking if we were sure she wasn’t born early,” said Marlo.

Carson stood close to Jax, tugging down the bubblegum pink pajamas that had bunched up and covered Elizabeth’s face. “She is so beautiful, Marlo.”

“I don’t think she looks anything like a Miller, except the hair. The rest is Marlo’s genes,” Shirley said, and Carson silently agreed.

“Thank goodness she takes after Marlo,” someone said from behind them. “Otherwise she would have inherited Billy’s big head.”

Everyone turned. A giant of a man came thudding down the stairs, looming over everyone in the room. As he got closer, Carson could see the resemblance to the other brothers, the piercing blue eyes and hard jawline. But he had chestnut hair, like Shirley’s, that touched his shoulders. His shoulders were so wide, Carson was curious if he could fit through doorways without having to turn sideways. And he was thick with muscle, but natural muscle, like a rhinoceros. That was it. He reminded her of a rhinoceros.

“This is my oldest brother, Beau.” Jax, still bouncing the sleeping baby,nodded to the rhinoceros.

Before Carson could say hello, Beau took her into his heavily tattooed arms and gave her a hug that squeezed the air out of her lungs. “So you’re the girl that my baby brother has deceived into liking him,” he said in his throaty voice. Then he examined her up and down. “You’re too good-looking for my brother. How much is he paying you?”

Carson snorted. “Not enough.”

He grinned crookedly, thanks to a vertical scar on his upper lip which Carson presumed was from a corrected cleft-lip. Glancing back at Jax, he jutted his thumb at her. “I like her.”

A tiny whimper called everyone’s attention as Elizabeth began to fuss.

“She’s probably hungry,” Marlo said, reaching to take her from Jax.

“Wyatt and Emily should be back any moment, and then we’ll be ready to eat supper,” Shirley announced, making her way back to the kitchen. “I bet you two are starving after traveling all day.”

Shirley was hunched over the oven, her graying hair pinned up and out of her face, pulling out what looked like a chicken pot pie with mitted hands. Marlo was juggling Elizabeth in one arm while stirring ice and lemon slices around in a glass pitcher; the liquid inside was the color of dark caramel. Out the window, Carson could see Henry and Hayden running in circles with foam swords in their hands. Watching the boys play make-believe without a care in the world made her smile.

It didn’t feel right standing there while everyone else bustled around, so she asked, “Is thereanything I can do to help?”

Shirley sat the large pie on the stove top and removed her oven mitts. “Oh, thank you dear, but everything is already taken care of.”

“I have a job for you,” Marlo said, holding out the baby. “Can you hold her while I round up the boys?”

“Of course.” Carson gladly accepted Elizabeth and cradled her to her chest. Pressing her cheek to the top of Elizabeth’s head she breathed in, forgetting about the newborn baby smell. It was clean like soaps and lotions. Instinctually she patted the baby’s diaper.

Would her baby boy have been born just as small? She guessed he would have been long for a newborn, as Carson and Luke were both taller than average. Or maybe he would have been a chunk, barely fitting into newborn sizes. Her lips drooped, not being able to know the answers. Yet holding Elizabeth seemed to be healing a part of her soul. The mother within her had been waiting five long years to hold a baby, and now she could.

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