Page 24 of Attraction & Repulsion

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean . . .” he stammered, jerking his hand away from her.

Her hammering heart seized and fell.

“No. It’s not like that. It’s just . . .” Carson’s voice trailed off, unable to finish, and she peered down at her toes covered in dried mud, praying she hadn’t offended him. “I’m sorry.”

Stopping Jax from kissing her wasn’t because she didn’t like him. It was because shedidlike him, and that frightened her. A lot.

Was she ready to move on? Was she ready to open herself up to anotherperson? Meeting Jax and being with him was something new, something that surprised her. But she needed to step back and evaluate what was happening. This was the first time since Luke that she had felt this way, and she wasn’t sure how to handle it.

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Jax said, standing and ruffling his drying hair at the same time. “I shouldn’t have tried to kiss you.” He seemed embarrassed.

“That’s not what I’m trying to say. I don’t want you . . . It’s not . . .” She was flustered. How was she supposed to communicate the torrent of emotions washing over her? “Nothing like this happened since my husband died. I don’t want you to think it’s you.”

“Oh.”

Gnawing on her cheek, Carson grabbed the ends of her braids and began to fidget with them, feeling as though she had ruined their day.

After a moment, Jax asked, “What was Luke like?”

The question made Carson’s chest swell, and she smiled. “He waseverything. Thoughtful. Genius. A bit nerdy.” She laughed. “Funny. Especially when he would get together with Hunter. They were goofballs.”

“How did you guys meet? Was he also an attorney?” Jax had sunk back down to sit on a rock. Not the same rock as hers, though. He was keeping his distance.

“No, he was an engineer. We went to the same college and there was a bar across the street from campus that my friends and I loved going to. One night some tool kept bothering me. I guess Luke had enough and stepped in.”

It was one of Carson’s favorite memories of him. She remembered right when the man grabbed her arm, another bigger, much stronger arm had grabbed his, twisting it back.

“The lady said no,” Luke had said, “so I suggest you listen to her and get the hell out.”

When she had followed the arm up, she was pleased to find chestnut eyes shadowed under caramel curls, looming over them.

The jerk had tried to resist, but Luke twisted his wrist harder. Finally with a huff, the offender yanked his arm away and stomped off. The situation had lasted only seconds and gone undetected by the bar’s patrons as the dancing continued and the uninterrupted music bumped on.

“Are you alright?” Luke had asked, settling onto the bar stool next to hers.

“Yes, but you didn’t have to do that.”

“I know,” he had said. “Can I buy you another drink?”

The memory always brought a smile to Carson’s face because even though Luke had scared the jerk off, he was the biggest teddy bear she knew.

“How long were you married?” Jax’s question pulled her out of her reverie.

“Four years. But we dated about a year before we got married,” she said.

“He sounds like he was an awesome person.”

“He was.”

A hawk flew overhead, its shadow flashing by. Carson reached out and squeezed Jax’s hand, noticing for the first time how worn the knees of his riding pants were. “Thank you . . . for asking about him.”

He squeezed back. “Are you dry enough to head back to the truck now?”

Putting on the rest of her gear, Carson straddled her bike and stompeddown on the kick starter. The engine sputtered but didn’t start. She tried again. Nothing. Twisting the throttle, she tried a third time. The engine gave a pitiful cough.

“Damn it,” she grumbled. Before Jax had picked her up, she’d pulled her bike out of the shed for a quick inspection. The engine had started just fine back at the house. Of course, in the middle of nowhere it decided to give her trouble.

“Everything okay?” Jax called over the sound of his own bike, which was rumbling just fine.

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