Page 81 of Attraction & Repulsion

Déjà vu.

The quiet humming told Carson she had been there before. That, and the bed. After spending a copious amount of time in a hospital bed, she would never forget how it felt. Stiff, bumpy, and impossibly uncomfortable.

She peeled her eyes open, concerned at how irritated they felt. Everything looked fuzzy, but she was definitely in a hospital room. She recognized the spotted ceiling tiles and the plastic, buzzing light fixtures, the gray curtain drooping in the corner. The heart monitor next to her picked up its rhythm. The last time she’d woken up in a hospital, her family was dead.

Jax.

Various wires and tubes, including the oxygen hose on her face, tugged as Carson sat up, her head spinning. She was alone. No doctor. No nurse. No one was standing at the end of her bed, telling her that Jax didn’t survive.

When she tried to call out to someone, she recoiled from the searing pain in her throat. She clutched her neck; it felt as though a hot branding iron covered in nails was being shoved down her throat. She was thirsty. Very thirsty. Was there any water? The bed tray next to her was empty.

Just then, a nurse pushed through the door. Apparently surprised to seeher awake, he scurried over and began inspecting the machines, adjusting her oxygen hose.

“Ms. West? Do you know where you are?”

Carson opened her mouth to speak, then thought better of it and nodded.

“Do you know why you’re here?”

Impatiently, she nodded again. Enough about her. What about Jax? Did he make it out alive? Did he die after she had lost consciousness? Was he home? In this hospital? In the morgue? Was he already buried? Did they even wait for her? What day was it? Question after question flitted through her mind like a mutoscope.

Luckily, the nurse was smart enough to understand her when Carson gestured with her hands for something to write on. Plucking a small notepad and pen from his scrubs, he handed them to her.

“Hmm. I don’t have any patients with the name of Jax Miller,” he said after reading her note.

She beckoned for the notepad again, writing down her next question.

“We have a phone you can use right here,” he offered, pointing to a landline telephone on the counter to the left of her. “But I can page your friend. She’s down in the cafeteria right now. I think her name is Raegan?”

Eagerly, Carson’s head bobbed up and down before he had finished.

“Alright, give me a second,” he said as he left.

Once again, Carson was alone. It was impossible to ignore her raw throat. Her mouth was still dry, like she’d licked a burnt log. The top of her hand pinched as she curled her legs underneath her. She looked down at the IV tube shoved under her skin. Then her eyes trailed up her arm and her heart stopped.

Her scars were out, saying hello to her and everyone. Her hospital gowncouldn’t hide them.

A smile teased Carson’s lips. She had forgotten all about them. And at the moment, she didn’t even care they were out on display. There were more important things to worry about—like the harsh reprimand she was about to receive.

Someone was running down the hall. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Of course Raegan would be in high heels.

The door burst open, and Raegan stood frozen on the threshold, gaping at her in what appeared to be disbelief, as if she hadn’t expected Carson to survive. Then tears sprung from her eyes, and she flung herself at Carson. Raegan’s hug reminded Carson of the first time she’d hugged Shirley. Full of love.

Raegan drew away, her nose pink. “You are insomuch trouble,” she scolded. Carson’s shoulders hunched.

“And Hunter is furious with you,” Raegan added.

Carson slumped even more.I know, she mouthed.

“You’re in luck, though. He’s already forgiven you because you saved his best friend.”

It took a second for the words to register. Saved his best friend . . . saved his best friend . . .saved his best friend. Like a crazed woman, Carson gripped Raegan’s biceps, her fingers pressing deep into the muscle. The heart machine’s beeping was starting to get annoying.

“Jax isalive,” she rasped, fire ripping up her esophagus.

Raegan’s brows fell over her eyes. “Yes. Didn’t they tell you?”

Carson’s head shook vigorously, as a lump painfully formed in her throat. Then her own tears of relief pooled in her eyes and started spilling over. Jax was alive. She had done it.

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