Page 54 of Attraction & Repulsion

She held him tight. Held the little boy who watched his mother beaten by his father. In that moment, she was grateful for the childhood she’d had, because it was nothing compared to his. At the end of the day, no matter how terrible her mother was, Carson had never felt unsafe in her own home.

The minutes ticked on, and Jax didn’t let go, even after his sniffles stopped and his breathing evened out. Carson could only imagine what he was processing, the demons he was fighting. Hoping to give him some sort of solace her hand slid up and down his back.

“We should probably go before Raegan serves our heads for dinner,” Jax said, his breath hot against her neck.

“I don’t mind eating a cold turkey.”

Jax pulled away and rubbed the sadness from his eyes. “Yeah, but I mind eating cold mashed potatoes and gravy.” After straightening in his seat he zipped the seatbelt into place.

“You sure? We don’t have to go tonight. We can always rain check,” Carson offered. Last year, she’d rescheduled Thanksgiving dinner with Raegan and Hunter. Instead of carving the turkey, she’d stayed home andcarved her body.

Jax’s smile couldn’t hide his crushed spirit. “I’m sure,” he said. Then he reached up and cupped her face. “Thank you.”

“You guys made it just in time. Hunter just finished the turkey,” Raegan said, hanging her apron on a hook attached to the pantry door, her shoes providing her the extra inches she needed to reach it.

Unlike Raegan, who wore a silver-shimmering dress and stilettos, Carson sported only boots, jeans, and a sweater. Having to wear skirts and heels all week for work, she didn’t feel the need to wear them on her days off, even on Thanksgiving.

The dinner tasted just as delicious as it smelled. Buttered rolls, savory gravy and salted mashed potatoes, candied carrots, and seasoned stuffing made the meal a feast fit for a king.

After most of the food had disappeared into freshly full stomachs, Raegan placed a decadent chocolate pie on the table while Hunter pushed the assortment of dishes out of the way to make room. Carson felt like the table, not sure if she had enough space in her to fit more food, but the airy whipped topping looked heavenly.

If it weren’t for pie, Luke and Carson would not have celebrated the day of gratitude. Luke was also an only child, so family get-togethers were few and far between. And Carson had never really learned to cook, her mom never having taught her anything more than pouring milk into a bowl full of cereal or boiling a pot of water. But every year, Luke would come home with a giant pie—blueberry or key-lime or pecan or cherry—and no matterhow full they were, they stuffed their faces with dessert.

Smiling, she thought of how Luke would always say, “There’s always room for pie,” and happily took the piece that Raegan dished out to her.

“So I have something to say,” Raegan announced, pushing the chocolate cream around her plate with her fork. She snuck an uncertain glance at Carson, then at Hunter, who gave her an encouraging nod.

Jax was shoveling the dessert into his mouth which reminded Carson a bit of Luke. The lit candles on the table flickered with anticipation, waiting for Raegan’s announcement. Raegan set down her fork and folded her hands on the table. Again, another uncertain look thrown Carson’s way.

It wasn’t until Jax also put down his fork, his piece having disappeared, and everyone around the table was looking expectantly at Raegan did she finally speak.

“I’m pregnant.” The words came out as if Raegan were getting something off her chest. Her eyes flicked again to Carson, apprehension shadowing them.

Her heart soaring with delight, Carson’s mouth popped open in surprise. Only now did she realize that Hunter was the only person at the table with a Blue Moon in front of him.

Instantly, she visualized Raegan having a little girl with long blond hair and rolls for days. Or a baby boy with auburn hair and kisses of freckles spread across his skin, just like Hunter. Then Carson imagined buying cute little clothes with tiny designs on them and the little shoes she loved to coo over when she spotted them at the store.

That was why, when Raegan kept staring neurotically at her, Carson went from feeling delighted to perplexed. Why didn’t Raegan seem happy about her pregnancy?

Jax didn’t notice Raegan’s nervous demeanor. “Are you guys serious?That’s awesome. Congratulations!” he said.

“When did you find out?” Carson asked.

“This morning.” Raegan shook off her apprehension. “I’ve been under the weather all week, thinking it was a stomach bug. But as I was putting two and two together, I took a test to confirm it. Both our parents know, but we are going to wait until after the first trimester to tell everyone else.”

“Look at you getting all knocked up,” Carson teased. “I can’t wait to see you with a big belly.”

Hunter reached over and put a hand on Raegan’s neck, and she melted at his touch. “Me either. You’re going to be so sexy.”

“Are you excited to be a dad?” Jax asked.

“Definitely. I’m hoping for a boy so I can coach his T-ball games,” Hunter said, dropping his hand from Raegan’s shoulder to pick up his fork and dig into his pie.

Raegan habitually patted Hunter’s arm. “Girls play T-ball too,” she gently reminded him.

“I don’t know whether or not I would want a boy or a girl,” Jax mused. “I can see the advantages of both.” Then he chuckled. “I can see thedisadvantages of both.”

Raegan’s eyes flicked to Carson, whose insides liquified and puddled at the base of her feet. The guilt of keeping her infertility a secret from Jax made the chocolate in her mouth no longer taste sweet.

---