Page 39 of Attraction & Repulsion

“Fine.” Brushing off Jax’s bitterness, Kristen picked at a piece of lint on her arm. “You know how I live, Jax.” Carson flinched at his name on her tongue. “I need the income. Maybe we can lower the amount to something more manageable.”

The grip on Carson’s waist grew firmer. “I said, we arenottalking about this,” Jax spat.

As if she were the one being attacked, Kristen lifted her palms. “We’ll just wait to see what the judge says. I won once. I can win again.”

Carson’s jaw unhinged, and Jax didn’t justify the words with a response. Apparently Kristen wasn’t expecting one, because she gave one last fleeting glare at Carson, then strode past them as if this had been an ordinary encounter.

Jax was an indignant statue: tense and scowling. Carson could only imagine what he was thinking and feeling, what he had gone through being married to that woman. Then he had to relive it month after month after month, every time he had to write those damned checks.

The stone cracked, and Jax’s sullen mask melted away, though his eyebrows stayed furrowed. A curse slipped from his lips, before his shoulders sagged even more, the burden of his circumstances too heavy for him to carry.

“Will us being together affect my chances of ending spousal support?” he asked apprehensively.

“No,” Carson assured him. “It won’t.”

The tension alleviated from Jax’s body, but only a little. He cupped her face with his hand. “I hope she didn’t offend you.”

Carson kissed his palm. “Not at all. I’m more worried about you.”

The corner of his lips barely lifted. “I’m used to it.”

While Jax put away his groceries, Carson sat at the edge of the kitchen counter, her feet dangling inches from the floor. Ever since seeing Kristen at the grocery store, Jax had been quiet. Very quiet. In fact, his forehead was still creased. The lines had apparently made themselves as permanent as his tattoo.

It seemed he was taking his frustrations out on the purchased food. The milk jug thudded as he dropped it in the fridge. He tossed the box of protein bars in a cabinet with a little more force than Carson thought necessary. Not to mention the poor apples that were dumped into a wire basket, bruising their fragile skin.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked timidly.

Her fingers squeezed the edge of the counter when the pantry door slammed shut. Opposite her, Jax rested against the stove, arms crossed.

“What is there to talk about? It’s not like I can do anything.”

“That’s not true. Youaredoing something. Your trial is only a coupleof weeks away. And I know the new judge assigned to your case. He’s extremely fair.”

Jax ran a hand down his face. “I don’t know, Carson. The only reason I’m taking her back to court is because my brother Billy talked me into it. It may be easier to pay her the money and be left alone.”

The defeat hung in the air between them, a dense fog not even the brightest lighthouse could cut through.

“Not when you now have a fighting chance,” Carson argued.

“You saw what happened at the store,” Jax said, swinging his arm out. “It’s only going to get worse. It’s not worth the fight.”

This wasn’t the first time Carson had heard this. Many of her clients had said the same thing. While many times that was true, some cases were worth the fight. She was strategic in choosing which legal battles she was willing to go to war over. Based on the facts she knew, and especially after meeting Kristen in person, Jax’s case was a sparring match Carson would enter the ring for.

Still, she decided not to speak, feeling as though it wasn’t her place to say anything more. She hadn’t been there during the divorce. She hadn’t experienced the dynamic between Kristen and Jax, the rise and fall of their relationship, or the twelve months’ worth of checks to an ex-spouse.

Interlacing his fingers behind his head, Jax looked up at the ceiling for a few seconds, then placed his palms on the counter behind him. “I don’t want to go through all of that again. I can’t go through it again.” He dropped his gaze to the porcelain-tile floor, his next words were raspy as if it pained him to speak. “I don’t know if I have the strength.”

Voice trailing off, he didn’t look at her. Carson could only guess the emotions inside him: pain and embarrassment. It made her sick that he might feel that way. He looked vanquished, as though it took everythinghe had just to stand there. His usual laid-back demeanor was depleted and empty.

“Why don’t you think you have the strength?” Carson asked.

The question stirred him. He switched the foot he was leaning on. Then switched back, scratching a cheek. The soft sound of fingernails on his close-cropped facial hair was loud in the quiet kitchen.

“Kristen cheated the whole year we were married. I’m still trying to figure out why she even married me when she wasn’t planning to be faithful. The only reason I can come up with is because she liked the idea of being married to a firefighter. Then, come to find out, she cheated the whole six years we were together.”

Carson had no idea what any of this had to do with his strength to go back to court, but she didn’t interrupt.

“When I think back on it, there were plenty of signs, but I trusted her. I believed in our relationship. I trusted our wedding vows. I was stupid enough to believe her lies. Ignorant enough to stay with her. It wasn’t until her affairs were right in front of me that I finally faced the truth. I mean, you can’t really ignore coming home from work to your wife screwing another man in your bed.”

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