Page 35 of Attraction & Repulsion

Now it felt like she didn’t have control anymore. Jax had put a chink in her armor, and it left her overwhelmed and agitated. If Carson had known this would happen, she would have done a better job at hiding how screwed up she was.

“I think you should have told me when you remembered,” Carson finally admitted as her leg bounced and bounced and bounced. “You’ve let me believe otherwise for almost two months.”

Jax winced. “When we walked to your truck after the auction, I was trying to figure out the best way to tell you, but I just couldn’t.”

“Because you didn’t want to remind me about the day my family died?” The bluntness of Carson’s words made his shoulders sink lower, but she continued anyway. “I think about it all the time, Jax.”

“I should have said something, I know. I’m not . . .” Jax leaned back against the couch, clutching fists full of hair for a second before letting his hands fall into his lap. He tilted his head back, his eyes staring at the ceiling. “I’m not good at . . .” A frown touched his face, as though he was troubled with the words in his mouth. “Conflict.” Looking back at her, he continued, “Conflict isn’t the right word. I have a tendency to avoid anything that is contentious. There’s so much tension andstress at work, I don’t want to deal with it in my personal life too.” Then he let out a single gust of air that sounded like a laugh but excluded the humor. “Why I married Kristen, I don’t know, because she was very dramatic.”

Sitting upright, Jax took Carson’s hands and held them tightly. “I should have confessed that night. I realize that now. I was thinking about myself and my feelings. I should have been thinking about you and yours.” He lifted his hand and placed it on her cheek. “I am sorry about what happened to you that day. And I’m sorry that I didn’t say anything.”

The intensity emanating from his eyes felt to Carson like a blanket being wrapped around her during a snowstorm. It was easy to understand his position, his sincerity, his regret. Plus, Carson was holding onto her own secrets. Who was she to get upset with him having some of his own? And if he had any suspicion about the scars on her body, the conversation would have gone completely differently.

Maybe, just maybe, Jax being at her accident would give him better insight into who she was or why she did the things that she did. Self-harm included. Finally, the frost that had taken over her body began to melt, and she could breathe again. This could be a good thing.

Leaning forward, Carson touched her forehead to his. “Thank you,” she whispered.

At her words, she could feel the stress leave Jax’s body. Stress that may have been cemented in his bones for weeks.

“I really am sorry, Carson.”

Pulling away just enough to look at Jax’s face, Carson smiled, then leaned forward once more to kiss his lips. She was interrupted by a sudden squealing buzzer.

Snatching her phone from her pocket, Carson muted the alarm with a curse. “I’m going to be late for work.” As soon as she stood up, Jax tuggedher back down.

“Gross, adulting. Why don’t you call in, and we can finish what we started?” he teased, inching forward to steal another kiss.

A day off work sounded enticing and spending it with Jax was even more exhilarating. But she had a job to do.

“Playing hooky wouldn’t look good for the promotion I’m trying to get.” Carson wiggled her hand from his and headed for the front door.

“A promotion?” he asked, following suit.

“I’m attempting to become junior partner.” Attempting. Trying. Wishing. Praying. Whatever it took. She wasn’t going to give up.

As she gripped the door handle Jax placed his hand over hers and twisted it with her. Anywhere his skin touched made hers hum with electricity.

“That’s really awesome,” he said, opening the door.

“Thanks. I’m sorry I have to go.” Carson stepped onto the porch. The sun had risen fully past the horizon. Birds were singing its praises.

“No worries.”

“What are you doing Friday night?” she asked.

He leaned on the doorframe, filling it with his height, arms crossed over his bare chest.

“I’m on shift until five. So, don’t know. Whatarewe doing Friday night?”

“I’m going out to dinner with Raegan and Hunter. You should join us.”

Jax flashed a grin, making her heart skip with anticipation. “Double date it is.”

Chapter eleven

Carson’s boots thumped against the concrete as they weaved between the patio seating filled with guests digging into trays of wings and fries and gourmet sub sandwiches.

“Do they know I’m coming?” Jax asked.

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