Page 102 of The Sorrow of Shadows

From your first breath

Until your very last

May the gods grant you peace

Thunder roars in the distance, alerting us to the impending storm, and I watch my mother send her air magic to feed the flames more oxygen. There’s nothing quite like only getting halfway through a funeral and having to wait for the wood to dry out so you can burn the bodies again.

The flames burn brighter, consuming the wood and bodies at an increased rate. Jade steps closer to Julian’s pyre, tears streaking down her tawny cheeks and glisteningher hazel eyes. Closer and closer she creeps, her hand stretching out like she’s reaching for her twin. When she’s as close as she can bear, I watch her drop to her knees and sob. She sinks lower, her entire frame dropping with the weight of her grief. I can see it like a physical thing sitting on her shoulders.

Elijah drops to his knees beside Jade and wraps his arm around her back, letting her bear her weight on him as violent trembles wrack her body. She slumps against him, burying her head against his broad chest. He doesn’t bother trying to hide his tears. Elijah has never tried to hide, justify, or apologize for any part of himself. He owns his emotions and wears them for everyone to see. And right now, I see despair painted across his face.

I follow them to the ground next, my knees hitting the hard dirt as I lace my fingers through Jade’s. It goes against everything ingrained in me by my father and Nolan to openly show my emotions in front of my soldiers.Never let them see you break.I can hear it in my father’s voice even now. But pretending I’m unaffected by the death of one of my closest friends? That does his twin no good; it only hurts her. Pretending Nameah’s death doesn’t mean anything to me? That dishonors her memory and disrespects her family.

Having emotions doesn’t make me weak, but pretending I don’t makes me cruel. So, I do what feels right, and I let the dam break. Hot, salty crystals pour down my face as I remember the male Julian was, and I mourn the fierce warrior Nameah never got the chance to be.

Just as the last of them has turned to ash, I feel the first drops of rain. The skies open up, drenching us in a matter of minutes. It’s a warm summer rain, and I embrace the feeling of it on my skin. The rest of the attendees have cleared out when I feel Aurelius pull me to my feet.

“Come on, Princess. Let’s get your dried off so you can continue the warrior’s celebration with the rest of them.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

BREYLA

“So, what did you find, General?” Elijah asks.

It’s been three days since we burned Julian and Nameah. Now, I’m surrounded by Elijah, Ophelia, Aurelius, and Jade. I’m not sure Jade’s ready to hear this, but she insisted on being here. She watches me intently but remains quiet.

We’re seated in one of the training rooms below the armory. It’s not the same room Aurelius took me to and forced me to confront my emotions in all those weeks ago, but it’s nearly identical. I didn’t want to have this conversation anywhere we could be overheard, and I had my doubts on how secure even this space was. They were supposed to be spelled to be soundproof, but there were several people in this castle who knew more than they should already.

“It wasn’t pretty,” I sigh. “Are you sure you’re okay with hearing this conversation?” I direct my gaze to Jade.

“I need to hear this. I can’t continue not knowing what happened to my twin.” Her voice is weak from disuse.

“Aurelius and I weren’t having much success tracking down Julian’s last known whereabouts. We had a vague idea, but he covered his tracks a little too well. Then we noticed we were being followed.” I smile slightly at the memory of discovering Nameah on our tracks.

“By Nameah?” Elijah guesses.

“Yeah. Spunky little thing, that one. Anyway, she was able to lead us to his body. It was left not far from her home.”

“Why did they just leave it there?” Jade asks.

“I asked the same thing, but it turns out they had no choice. They had tried to move it; her whole family had given it a try, but there was some sort of force field surrounding his body that wouldn’t allow them to touch it.”

Confused gazes meet mine but I continue. “When we found his body...” My voice trails off, and I fight the urge to look at Jade. Despite what she says, she doesn’t need to hear this.

“Stop treating me like a child, Breyla, and just fucking say it.” Jade’s words are laced with venom.

“I’m not treating you like a child; I’m protecting you! What I saw willneverleave my mind. I don’t want you to bear that same burden.”

“How about you let me decide what burdens I bear? Tell me, or I’ll force it out of you.”

My eyes flare at her threat to use her Gift of coercion on me. It’s something she’s never done and promised she never would. Aurelius and Elijah both stiffen. I assume Elijah’s having the same reaction I am, but I look to Aurelius. He nods, as if to convey he can sense she’s serious in her threat.

“We found his body hanging on a wooden cross. There were nails driven through his wrists to hold it there. The smell was so putrid I vomited as soon as I was within twenty feet of it. The barrier that kept all others from touching it didn’t protect him from the elements or animals. It had been picked apart, but at least it didn’t appear that he was tortured before his death. Smallblessings, I suppose. Is that what you wanted to hear?” I nearly spit the last words, frustrated that she would force me into telling her that.

Jade just grunts in response and waits for me to finish.

“So how were you able to get him home?” Ophelia asks.

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