Page 77 of The Sorrow of Shadows

“Is there a question there?”

“What changed?”

“You,” I answer simply, hoping it frustrates him.

“Me? How?” he asks, obviously confused.

“What you told me that night in the training room—about me keeping people at a distance, people that are hurting just as much as me—you were right. After Julian died, I realized the last words I said to him weren’t anything of substance, and I regret not telling him I loved him. I don’t know what he felt in his last moments, but I hope he knew I loved him, even if I never told him. I just never want anyone to have to question that.”

We’ve reached the city's edge before Aurelius says anything in response to my explanation.

“I think he knew you loved him, Breyla. Maybe you didn’t say it, but you make people feel it with your actions. You’re loyal to a fault and protective in a way that scares me sometimes. You care about those around you fiercely. There’s no way he didn’t feel it.”

I fight the tears welling in the corners of my eyes, tipping my head back in a refusal to let them fall.

“Come on now, Princess. We’ve been through this; you need to feel. It’s okay to cry, so don’t smother your emotions.” Aurelius's voice is calm and comforting.

“I’m the general of the royal army, I’m not weak, and I hate feeling vulnerable.” I’m trying to express my feelings now, but it’s quite possibly more uncomfortable than admitting to my mother that I’m sleeping with Aurelius.

“Feelings don’t make you weak, Breyla. Vulnerability is a strength, and it makes you relatable. No one expects you to be some emotionless creature; they expect you to be real.”

With that, I let my tears fall.

We continue the ride in relative silence, increasing our pace as we go. As we make it further from the capital, the trees become fewer and farther between. Red and orange leavesappear amongst the green, signaling the upcoming seasonal change. Autumn is my favorite season, but I hate what comes after it. Winter is harsh and cold here, making it difficult to do just about anything. The sky eventually opens and rain begins to drench us. Luckily, it’s a warmer day, and the effects of the rain aren’t as harsh. There’s nothing we can do about it and no reason to stop for shelter. Between here and my grandparents’ estate there isn’t much in the way of forest or trees, only open fields, and the occasional cottage. The sun has begun its descent by the time we reach the outskirts of my grandparent’s property.

The rain has slowed, but we’re still soaked when we knock on their front door. Warm smiles and tight hugs greet us as I lay eyes on the people I haven’t seen since before my father’s death.

“It’s so good to see you, Breyla. We missed you at Raynor’s funeral,” my grandmother says, her honey and lemon scent wrapping around me. She’s basically the female spitting image of my father—fire-red curls, hazel eyes, and freckles dusting her cheeks. The sight of her is both comforting and painful.

“I know, Grandma. I’ve missed you, too.” A pang of guilt rattles through me for staying away from them for so long. She passes me over to my grandfather before setting her eyes on Aurelius.

“I guess we know who the favorite is,” Aurelius grumbles behind me.

“Obviously. I mean, have you met you?” I snicker.

“I think you mean, have you metyou? I’m an angel.” His tone is overly sweet, letting me know he knows he’s full of shit.

“Knock it off, you two. We are delighted to see both of you. Our wayward son and granddaughter returned home at last.”

I inwardly cringe at her comment. Yeah, this is going to be difficult.

They usher us inside, taking our rain-drenched things to dry by the fire and escorting us to our rooms. Dark wood lines the halls as we’re led from the entry. If the sun were shining it wouldcast brilliant rays through the numerous windows that line the manor. We go up a set of carpet-lined stairs, taking a left down the first hallway. The manor is large, but it has nothing on the size of the castle.

“Your room is the same, Aurelius. I had the servants make up the guest room down the hall for you, Breyla. We’ll let you get bathed and into dry clothes, and some hot food will be waiting for you once you’re done,” my grandfather says, and they leave us to do just that.

Aurelius waits until they’re just out of earshot before speaking. “Those riding leathers must be a nightmare to strip out of when wet. They’re clinging to your skin in the way I want to be right now.” He trails a finger seductively down the center of my chest, below my breasts, and down to my navel.

“Not happening.” I grin and push him away from me with one hand. “You heard the queen’s orders—no one else can know.Especiallynot your parents.”

“No one has to know. We can be very discreet.” His lips quirk up in a smirk as he pulls me by the hip into him. I feel his already hardened dick through my leathers as he holds his hips against my lower belly. It has shivers racing down my spine, and I nearly give in.

I somehow find my willpower and shove him away again. “Absolutely not,” I say with as much bravado as I can.

I turn from him before he can tempt me any further and enter my room. I lock the door behind me, but not before I hear a self-satisfied chuckle behind me.

Aurelius is right—wet riding leathers are an absolute nightmare to get out of, but I refuse to go to him for help, because I know he would turn it into something far less innocent. I manage to get out of my top, but the bottoms become an issue as I find myself dancing and wiggling around the bathing chambers to remove them from my thighs.

My thighs are toned and muscular partially from genetics,but mostly from years of training. There’s never been a gap between them, but I never cared. They’re curved in ways that males want to worship and females pretend to judge but secretly envy. But right now, I wish there were less of them as I struggle and fail to get the leathers off. I end up taking a misstep, hitting a puddle of water that my discarded top had left behind, and I slip.

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