Page 57 of The Sorrow of Shadows

“No,” I plead. I squeeze him tighter, refusing to let him slip through my fingers.

“It’s time to face the real world. I’ll be watching you kick its ass, so don’t let me down.”

“No!” I cry again, gripping him harder. I don’t want to leave this space. Everything is better here.

“Things are easier here, not better. You made me a promise, and I expect you to keep it. Now go live, Breyla.”

With those final words, his form starts to fade again, this time losing its solid state with it. My hands slip through the space where his chest was just moments ago. Tears stream down my cheeks and I shake my head as I look into his honey-green eyes one last time. He smiles at me one last time as his form fades completely and consciousness greets me.

When I awake my chest is heavy, cheeks wet with tears. I suck in a shaking breath, trying to calm my racing heart. There’s a heaviness in my center that feels like I’ll never breathe deeply again.Julian is dead.

The sun hasn’t yet appeared, and by my calculations we still have several hours before sunrise. Normally, I would be up at this hour. Most soldiers were early risers. But this isn’t a normal day, and I refuse to start it this way.

Julian’s words ring in my ears. “Don’t let her face it alone.”

Silently, I crawl out of bed, wrap a thick black robe around myself, and exit my chambers. It’s quiet in the palace halls, having reached the hour that finds only the kitchen staff awake, preparing for breakfast. I drift through the halls still half asleep until I finally reach Jade’s room.

I don’t bother knocking, knowing she’s alone and hoping she’s still asleep. The room feels heavy as I enter to hear Jade’s soft exhales. As I approach, I notice her cheeks are stained with mostly dried tears. Her deep breaths let me know she’s asleep now, so they must have come earlier or in her sleep. Either option has me fighting my own again.

I pull back the rich emerald-green covers on her bed and slide in beside her. Jade senses me in her sleep and rolls closer, curling into my side. My heavy eyelids droop lower as I nuzzle into her. I may not be ready to face the day, but I refuse to let her wake up to face it alone. She sighs softly as I drift back into sleep. This time, all I see are bright hazel eyes.

“I definitely think gold is the right accent color for the ball tomorrow.” I watch the servants busy themselves with hanging tapestries of crimson and wine in preparation for the engagement celebration. Guests have been slowly trickling in all day and there’s not a moment to spare.

Mother quirks a blonde eyebrow at me. “When did you start forming an opinion on accent colors?” she questions, placing the silver candelabra down and holding the gold against one of the deep-red table liners.

“Gold will compliment both your complexion and Aurelius' eyes.” I shrug like anyone couldsee that.

“Mhm,” she muses.

“You should also wear a gold dress. You’d look like more of a goddess than you already do,” I suggest.

“And what will you be wearing, daughter?”

“Haven’t decided yet. Probably something black.”

“No, I think not. There will be no hiding in dark corners, Breyla. You will help us show a united front to all those in attendance.” Her tone leaves no room for argument.

“Would you like to pick out my dress, too?” I snark.

“I don’t think you want me to go that far,” she challenges. “Why don’t you wear our house colors? They flatter you, and it sends a message.”

“And what message is that?”

“Strength. And confidence in your rightful place.”

“Is that rightful place as princess or general?” I question, not sure her meaning.

“Yes.”

Helpful non-answer, yet again.

“Have all the guests arrived?” I ask, changing the subject.

“I believe so.” She stops what she’s doing, setting the napkins on the table, and places her hand gently on my bicep.

“How is Jade?” she asks softly, as if that will make the topic easier to speak about.

“She’d be better if we actually had his body to burn. She didn’t say much this morning, but I left her with Ophelia and Elijah.”

---