Page 81 of We Three Kings

I stand there, not quite knowing how to take it all in but I take a seat on their corduroy sofa and sink into the cushions, Leo taking a seat next to me. ‘Why didn’t you warn me?’ I ask him.

He still reads the emotion on my face. ‘I wanted it to be a surprise.’

‘Well, I am surprised,’ I say reaching into the bag and pulling out a box of Roses, some Christmas-themed socks and a cranberry bath bomb. ‘This is too bloody cute.’

‘That’s my mum. I’m nearly thirty and she still gives me Lynx body spray, every year,’ he says, holding it up.

We fumble through the gifts until we get to the bottom to see she’s put a clementine in each one. It’s so perfect and I can’t seem to wipe the smile from my face.

‘Here,’ Leo says, a box in his hand. ‘I took the liberty of bringing your antibiotics in here. You heard what Claire said,two before food.’ He pops the pills out and puts them into my hand. I down them with a sip of tea. ‘How is the hand this morning?’

‘Well, I certainly feel less rundown this morning,’ I tell him, looking down at the circle that Claire drew on last night where the infection doesn’t seem to have spread. ‘It’s a Christmas miracle.’

‘It was all I asked Santa for. Glad he made it happen,’ he tells me. ‘Well, seeing as we’re alone. I did get a small gift for you. I hope that’s OK. It’s just something fun so please don’t read too much into it.’

I smile. ‘I also have the same.’

‘Well, shall we do it here so my whole family aren’t watching?’

I nod. I shuffle back to the bedroom to get my gift from my bag and return to the living room where he stands there with a large rectangular box in his hands, wrapped in brown paper with a gingham bow. It makes me think back to the time when I was handed that gift in that Mexican restaurant for our Christmas do. Now I know who was really behind it all. I give Leo my gift too and we sit down to open them. He pulls out the Stormtrooper duck and laughs. I peel off the paper to reveal a snowman. A very happy snowman. No. He didn’t.

‘Leo, it’s a Mr Frosty…’ I mumble in shock. I told you I’d always wanted one. When we were lying under the Christmas tree in our office. He remembered. He looks at me, waiting for my reaction but as I run my fingers over the box, I don’t know why but I burst into tears. Leo’s face goes ashen.

‘Fuck. I did warn you it was just a fun gift. I know it’s a bit shit. I love my duck,’ he says, not quite knowing what to do.

I wipe the tears on the edge of my pyjama sleeve. ‘No, I love it. I… I…’ He’s being nice to me, so nice and I don’t know if it’s deserved. I don’t feel like a good person at the moment. As I lay there on my airbed last night, all I could think was how a good person would have spoken to Frank, Jasper and Leo in turn and discussed the redundancy dilemma openly. Instead, I’ve now kept it a secret and whatever I do, whoever I let go, there will be resentment and anger, and I’m not sure I want that from people I hold so dear. I look at Leo who puts a hand to my arm. I can’t tell him about all that now. It’s Christmas Day. ‘I think I’m just overwhelmed by the day, maybe missing my parents. I’m a crier. I cry at the end ofHome Alonewhen Kevin’s mum comes back and finds him. Have I ever told you that?’

Leo shakes his head and I can’t tell if he’s appalled or scared, but he takes me in his arms and hugs me so very tight next to that tree and I hug him back. Another stray tear falls as he holds me there for a moment.I don’t want to let you go. You’re the one I don’t want to let go the most.

We part and he looks at my face again. ‘So you’re not crying out of disappointment over the gift?’

‘No. It’s brilliant. My ten-year-old self is over the bloody moon…’ I say, looking adoringly at it.

‘I look forward to unlimited snow cones,’ he says, laughing as he wipes the last of my tears from my face. ‘Is there anything I can do to cheer you up? Your parents? Maybe we could call them? Maybe then you’ll feel less sad?’ He still thinks this might be because I miss my mum and dad. Oh dear. I nod and he goes to the other room to get my phone. ‘I can go in the kitchen if you’d rather take the call alone?’ he says returning with it.

‘No, stay,’ I tell him and I dial Mum on Facetime. The call is accepted and the screen goes fuzzy before they come into view.

‘MAGGIE!’ my mum shrieks to see me. ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS!’

I hold the phone away from me to take in the noise, beaming at the sight of both of them in Christmas hats and matching festive jumpers. ‘Merry Christmas, guys,’ I say, waving. ‘You look suitably seasonal.’

‘Oh, the ship demands it. There’s a morning buffetwith a Santa and his elves. Unlimited smoked salmon,’ my dad tells me.

‘Easy,’ I tell him. He walks around their cabin so I can see their bed and the view of the sea out of the window. They always look excited to be out on open water, taking in the world one port at a time. ‘Very swish…Miss you both,’ I whisper, tears filling my eyes. Because after I had that HR meeting last Friday, it’s their door I probably would have knocked on to get their counsel. Mum is calm and reassuring, but Dad is no nonsense, calls a spade a spade. Between the both of them, they’d have allowed me to talk this through.

‘Miss you more. But you were right to maybe dodge this one. The only single man we met wears a bum bag and a cravat. We spent an evening in the bar learning about his parrots,’ Dad tells me. ‘Join us on the next one though?’

‘Definitely,’ I tell them.

‘And we’ve bought you gifts too. We’re back on the twenty-eighth. You up for doing something then?’ Mum asks me. She looks around the background behind me, creasing her brow. ‘Are you at Gemma’s yet? Do give her and the family our love. How’s the baby doing?’

‘Actually,’ I tell them, sitting down. ‘Gemma had plans with Nate’s family so…’

‘You’re not alone, are you, love?’ my dad says, looking panicked.

‘Actually, no. I’m with…’ I beckon Leo, who quickly looks in the mirror to flatten down his bedhead. ‘This is Leo.’

They both sit there silently looking at him through the screen. My mum bites her lip trying not to smile whereas my dad disappears from shot. Where’s he gone? Is he angry I half-lied to them?

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