Page 78 of Worth the Fall

“Don’t you think it seems fast though? Like, how can I want to date someone else already?” I asked her questions that I honestly should have been asking myself.

“Look, I know you’re worried about what people will say. And don’t even think of arguing with me about that. Whether you want to admit it or not, you do not like people in this town thinking badly about you,” she said as if she were delivering some great revelation.

But it was easy for Lana to say all of that. She’d never been the topic of the Sugar Mountain gossip mill before. It wasn’t enjoyable, being judged and whispered about behind your back. People thought they knew you when they really knew nothing at all. The gossip would end at some point, but in the meantime, I really hated it.

“I don’t enjoy it.”

“So, what happens if you move on? And with Thomas, of all people?” She gasped dramatically. “Will the whole town believe that you cheated and that’s why you left your husband and ended your marriage?”

“I didn’t cheat,” was the only response that came out of my mouth.

“My point is that it doesn’t matter if they think you did or not. You know the truth. And the truthalwayscomes out. Eventually.” She said it with such force that I had no choice but to believe her.

I stayed silent for too long, my thoughts swirling in a sea of uncertainty and chaos. Maybe I was scared. Scared of being wrong... of what people thought... of what I thought about myself... of how moving on made me look—to everyone else and to me. What kind of person walked out of one life and straight into another?

“Brooky,” Lana practically purred into the phone. “Listen to me. You’re allowed to move on when you’re ready, and no one else gets to tell you when that is. It’s okay to like someone new. And it doesn’t make you a bad person if you have feelings for someone else already. You’reallowedto be happy. Youdeserveto be happy. That’s why you left Eli in the first place, remember?”

“Of course I remember,” I whispered as I tried to keep it together, but all of her words were suddenly striking a nerve.

“You’re not doing anything wrong. You want to be with Thomas, then be with him. You want to marry the guy and have ten thousand perfect little O’Grady babies, then I say go for it. Because if you don’t do it, someone else will.”

Damn.That last sentence struck more than just a nerve. I hated every single thing about it. Thomas ending up with someone else when I hadn’t even gotten the chance made me want to throw up.

I’d fought so hard for my own happiness, and here I was, denying myself exactly that... and for what?

“Are you still there?” Lana asked.

“I’m here. Processing,” I answered truthfully. “But you’ve forgotten one very important thing, Lana.”

“Oh, yeah? What’s that?”

“The guy has to actually want me back.”

She started laughing. It was loud and filled the empty space in my room. “He punched your ex-husband because of the things he was saying aboutyou. He escorted him out of the resort onyourbehalf. He put him on anever enter my property again or I’ll feed you to the dragonslist or some shit,” she said in a masculine voice before continuing in her own, “And then he made out with you on his couch. In his house! I don’t think Thomas O’Grady goes around kissing women he’s not interested in.”

I did not need to be convinced of the things that she was saying. I’d taken all those events as signs that he was interested in me too. But they hadn’t been enough. The consistency wasn’t there. And just when I thought that maybe we were taking a step in one direction, we’d stop moving altogether, which made me question everything.

“I get all that, Lana. I do. But you didn’t see his face when I left that night. He looked like I’d disappointed him somehow. And it’s not like he’s asked me out again or anything. And when we’re at work, he definitely doesn’t act like he made out with me. I don’t know. He’s so hard to read.”

I realized in that moment that Thomas’s inconsistency had forced me to inadvertently question myself and my desire to move on. His wishy-washy attitude had made me feel like Iwasdoing something wrong in some way.

“What do you expect him to do? Throw you up against his desk and screw you with the door open?” she asked, and my mind instantly started picturing it.

“Might be nice.” I grinned to myself.

“I bet it would. Hussy,” she teased.

“He’s distant. That’s all I’m saying. Something changed.”

“But you’re still going to show up at his family dinner tonight anyway? The balls on this one, ladies and gentlemen,” she announced like a radio DJ, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ugh,” I groaned. “What am I thinking? I can’t go there. It’s not appropriate, and it would only confuse Clara.”

“You’re such a good stepmom already,” Lana cooed, and I practically choked, just trying to breathe. “Listen, it’s obvious that the two of you suck at communicating.”

“Hey! We had a really great conversation that night at his house. It was open and honest and—” I started to explain before she cut me off.

“Then, what ruined it?”

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