Page 81 of Her Holiday Heartthrobs

“Call those other two assholes, we’re picking them up, and I’m driving.”

All I can do is nod and make the call. I don’t warn them about Patrick, and the queasy, guilty look on their faces when they see him pull up and get out of the car is the same swamp I’m swimming in.

Fuck, this sucks.

He doesn’t sucker punch them. “When did it start?”

Eli flinches, but Jake sobers. “A week after she started here.”

“So neither of you slept with her before she went off to college?” The accusation slices open my guts and lets my innards fall to my feet.

They both look past him to me, and respond in unison, “No.”

“Did you know?” Raising his fist, he’s barely in control.

Eli swallows. “Not until recently.”

Patrick lowers his fist, fuming for another minute until he points at the truck I’m idling in. “Get in.”

They both seem to get paler but nod and climb in the back bench seat. I pinch my nose and swear under my breath until we’re all settled.

Fuck, this is going to be a long, uncomfortable drive, but we deserve the coming lecture. And I’ll willingly sit through it a thousand times if it means getting to Paige—seeing her—as soon as possible.

PAIGE

It’s easy to keep Paxton distracted with all of the Christmas prep and my sister of course. Although we don’t have a tree inside—and, really, what could compare to the tree at my apartment that Eli sent over—we do have the entire state park, full of pine trees that are ripe with the holiday atmosphere.

Snow comes down heavy, and Penny promises him that they will build snowmen and make snow angels in the morning. After presents, she amends when Paxton reminds her.

With him occupied, I’ve been able to wrap what little presents I’ve accumulated. I was not a fan of Penelope pulling him on a sled behind her snowmobile, however. When I caught them, they shared a look with each other and tried to pull off the sheepish, innocent look. They were unsuccessful.

In any case, I’ve spent most of the afternoon in the kitchen, making treats to make up for the lack of toys. At least until I could go home and face my father, who would have plenty for him. Penny reassured me that she had her own stash too.

Still, I don’t like making such rash decisions when they can affect Paxton so much. Like this one. But it does seem safest for him.

Rolling out my batch of gingerbread, I cut and shape them and lay them out on a pan to wait for their trip in the oven. Right now, I have a batch of sugar cookies and a white sweet potato pie. Next will be a coconut cake, and maybe some reindeer chow after that.

I really should be prepping for dinner instead, something big enough for tomorrow too.

Overwhelming emptiness comes over me, and I have to stop to press my hand against my chest.

This was a smart move for Paxton. It doesn’t matter what I need right now. Even if I want Henry singing Christmas carols with Paxton, Eli putting up decorations and Jake sneaking a taste of everything while strategically finding ways to be in the way yet helpful at the same time.

Huffing, I rub the backs of my wrists against my eyes. Honestly, I want my dad here too. Then, the holiday would be complete. I’d have everyone I love here.

And maybe then, I wouldn’t be thinking about how mortified I am, how I won’t be able to show my face at work. Can I even go back? The pictures the newspapers ran showed a fair amount of skin, but other ones appeared online. Ones that revealed a lot more of me than I wanted the world to see.

I didn’t have to scroll on my sister’s phone for long before I dove into baking. So, maybe all the treats are more about me than they are about Paxton having a good Christmas. He’s three. He’ll have a good one because we will be there with him, making him the center of attention, and playing plenty of games.

He’s always had more than enough toys, and I learned early that the time is more important than the things.

I refocus on the treats, pulling the sugar cookies out before they burn and shoving the gingerbread men in.

Still, most of the baking means waiting, and I’m back to worrying and panicking in rounds. Are the guys going to cutme loose instead of protecting me? Why didn’t they pick me up early, warn me, bring me in to face the whole thing as a team? Show that it won’t affect our work.

I shake myself loose long enough to smile at Paxton as he waves his dinosaur at me.

I’m disappointed that this is the way it’s turned out. But, I haven’t had the courage to turn my phone back on. Not with the phone calls Penny has received from reporters, wanting to ask her questions about me.

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