Page 79 of Her Holiday Heartthrobs

“Hey, Penny. I’m bringing Paxton up to visit. Is that cool? Sorry for the late notice.” Please, please tell me you’re not busy, and that we’re welcome. I need your special brand of stability right now.

“Of course. I will never refuse a visit from you and Bub. We’re long overdue anyway. He’ll love the new blanket of fresh snow. It’s perfect for snowballs and snowmen.” The delight in Penelope’s voice softens the hard ridges of fear inside me.

“Perfect. We’re going to be on our way in a half hour, I’ll text when we’re near.” Because I’m turning my phone off the moment this conversation is over.

“Sounds good, Pebble. See you in a few hours.”

Thank God for her. She doesn’t even ask me any questions about the timing, or whether or not I should be at work.

I check my phone’s notifications one last time, hurt to find nothing from any of them—Jake, Eli, or Henry. Radio silence. It screams louder than anything else. Finally, I shut the thing off and get to it.

Packing is quick work, considering the three-year-old making a mess of things. Jackie arrives home as I’m lugging our bags to the door.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where are you off to with half of your belongings?” He doesn’t wait for my answer, he simply pulls me into his arms for a strong, reaffirming hug.

“Hey, Jackie.” I sink into the hug but don’t let myself linger for too long. “Going to Penny’s for the next few days. I just…can’t be here right now.”

Jackie cups my face, the love in his eyes so obvious that I nearly break down from the shock of this morning, but I can’t. I have to keep it together. At least until I make it to Penny’s cabin.

“Okay. But you’re not leaving those stockings and the presents left here for you-know-who. He would be crushed. Let me pack them up, and I’ll drive you.”

“No. No, Jackie. No. You just worked all night. You have another shift in eight hours. I can handle it.” Even if I don’t technically have a car. I’ll figure it out.

He gives me that you’re-missing-something-important look, and I sigh, holding my palm up. Jackie drops his car keys easily into it, and tears threaten me so violently that I reel him into another hug.

“Thank you.”

“Anything for you, Pepper.”

I can’t help but laugh at the old nickname, formed in our first class together before my end-of-semester presentation. He told me tosprinkle a little of that pepper you got on it, making it stick with my spicy attitude. Anytime I’ve needed a boost, he’s called me Pepper.

“Now. Start lugging your entire life down those stairs. I’m parked in the basement.”

Paxton squeals and throws himself at Jackie as I lug two bags out of the door. It takes four trips to get everything settled in the car, including all of the Christmas stuff.

“I’ll call you when I get there. I’m leaving my phone off for the drive.”

“You’d better.” Jackie kisses me on the cheek and waves me off.

My son bounces in his seat for the first fifteen minutes before he conks out. Without the phone to entertain him, he just drops right off. I spin through radio stations, but for most of the three-and-a-half hour drive, my mind is circling around and around the news articles, the headline on channel three, the pictures…

Oh God, the pictures.

A few times, I talk myself out of a complete breakdown, and by the time I pull into Penny’s parking area, I’m exhausted.

Paxton wakes up, recognizing the cabin. He sits straight up. “Mommy? Be here for Christmas? Will Santa find us? Is Dada coming?”

HENRY

Paige’s voicemail greets me, and I have to put in effort not to slam the phone back in its cradle. I’ve called her six times, from my cell and office phones. I’ve texted her more than a dozen times now, all delivered but left unread.

I’m going out of my mind. Sitting still is no longer an option. Guilt roils in my chest as I stand and grab my coat from the rack by my door. The only place I can think of to check for her is her apartment, so I’m going there first.

Impatience has me so wired that I don’t wait for Liam to drive me. I slide behind my favorite winter car, the red Mercedes-Benz E-Class. It won’t slide off the road with the hurry I’m in. I do slide once, slowing only to be sure that I’ll actually make it to her apartment building in one piece.

Circling the building twice, I curse until I find a parking spot two streets down. My dress shoes are soaked through, the wet spreading halfway up the calves of my pants. It doesn’t slow me down, and I take the stairs two at a time until I’m panting before her door.

I knock and wait.

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