Page 82 of Her Holiday Heartthrobs

Both of our phones are off, and I feel bad for Dad again. He shouldn’t be alone right now. Without all three of us.

My heart grows heavy as I redirect myself with dinner. Penny has a small ham that’s nearly thawed, potatoes, green beans, and some rolls. All things Bub will eat, so that’s what I start on.

Once the ham is in and the treats are out, I wash up and take a moment to breathe. The sun has gone down, the curtains closed, and the fire is lit in the hearth. The scene is sweet with the stockings Jackie packed up for us hanging on the mantel.

Penny has turned on cartoons and is singing along beside Paxton like a dork, clapping her hands and making the gestures like the characters do in the show. His giggle is like an ambrosia, refilling me in a way nothing else can.

I close my eyes for a second, letting my love for him take over.

A knock pounds at the front door of the cabin. I startle back, my lungs in my throat. No one can find me out here. Can they? They knew how to find Penny’s phone number. Would one of those reporters trek all the way out here to find me for a story?

Penny glances at me as she gets to her feet. “Probably just another ranger checking in after seeing the unknown car. Relax. Go back to obsessively cooking.”

She waves her hands at me on the way to the door, but I can’t go back to what I was doing. The bubble has popped. I hold ontothe counter’s edge, between the door and the spare bedroom I can dash into if need be.

But once my big sister opens the door, Dad saunters in past her, his face stern. Upset. Intent on me.

I do my best to stand my ground, even though I want to shrink back. But it just takes a moment for my Dad to reach me and he grabs me and reels me into the tightest hug he’s ever given me. Even tighter than the one he gave me after I told him I was pregnant at eighteen and that the father couldn’t be in the picture.

This hug encompasses so much more.

Because he has to have figured it out by now.

My fingers curl into his flannel overcoat and I finally let it all out. All of the tears I’ve been trying to keep at bay. From the shock, from being attacked, from feeling violated and so alone with it all. It’s a relief to let it out. I sobbed hard and fast, then after a while it recedes.

Dad is running his hand over my hair, rocking me, and whispering soothing sounds as I settle like he used to.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks softly against my temple.

“How could I? They’re your best friends.” A layer of shame drops over the rest of it. I should be ashamed of myself for wanting three men. Three older men. My dad’s friends. My bosses.

But I don’t. I’m only ashamed for not being honest. For the way it came out.

“Which is why I ripped them new assholes the entire drive here,” Dad proclaims, and I jolt.

“They’re here?”

“They are.” Dad squeezes me to him a little tighter before he releases me. I wonder if it’s any easier as we get older, but I have a feeling it’s never easy to cope with one’s child growing up.

I deliberately pause to look Dad in the eyes and smile. “Thank you, Dad.”

He nods and smiles back, then I head towards the porch. I grip the railing when I see all three of them waiting by the truck, shadowed by the night. When they spot me, they rush forward. I meet them at the bottom step where the glow from the cabin highlights their serious features. Gloomy almost.

But I can’t keep in how happy I am to see them, tears swimming in my vision again. They all reach for me at once. Hands on my shoulders, elbows, neck, back, waist. Each of them comforting me.

When I finally smile, I’m surrounded, as if none of them could wait.

“We’re so sorry, beautiful,” Eli whispers against my forehead. “You’re more important than the business. More important than investors.”

“This shouldn’t have happened,” Jake says in my ear. “We should have been here for you.”

“We should have protected you better.” Henry kisses my temple. “Kept you safe.”

Here’s the thing: with all of them here, now, I do feel safe and protected. At least to the point that I don’t care about the other things.

Tears spill again, but only a few. And they’re kissed away.

I suddenly notice that they’re all dressed in jeans and flannels like my dad. Work boots. And they’re clothes are wet.

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