Page 40 of Till Death Do Us Part

“I’d be more concerned about Em,” my husband said. “He was still contemplating killing the capo until he found out about the baby.”

“Should I warn my brother?” I asked.

“I think he’s safe,” Aléjandro replied.

ChapterTen

Mia

Aléjandro and Rei went downstairs to talk business, leaving me alone in our bedroom. Wrapping my arms around my midsection, I spun a slow circle, thankful we had some furniture. The furnishings weren’t bad, a bed, dressers, and bedside stands. The sitting area was empty. For a moment, I imagined what could fill the void while trying to get excited about buying whatever I wanted.

I didn’t want to hate my life.

There were moments I forgot that I hated it.

I walked toward the closets I’d only peeked in before. Looking at the stacked boxes containing everything I called mine from Missouri, I remembered again: this wasn’t the life I wanted. I recalled that I’d been uprooted and discarded by the famiglia. At least that was the way it felt. As bad as my first marriage had been, I was surrounded by family and friends.

Dario and Catalina were on their way back to Kansas City and so were Giorgia and Dante. Mom was on her way to her big house in the Ozarks. Other women from the famiglia would be gathering for wine and movies as their husbands worked the streets and clubs.

The life I’d known was gone.

Now that my wedding was over and my marriage was official, the people who used to be special to me could move on. After all, I was now cartel, and I knew how they felt about Catalina. She had the one advantage of being married to the capo. I’d been shipped away.

Maybe it was time for me to move on.

Sliding down the doorjamb, I sat on the soft carpet, pulled my knees to my chest, and wrapped my arms around my legs. The mountain of boxes embodied nearly thirty years of life, a sad representation of how little I’d accomplished.

They were filled with things.

Objects.

Clothes.

Jewelry.

All replaceable.

My friends and family were across the country.

I didn’t have an education or children.

All I had was a new husband.

As my temples began to pound, my gaze went over to the large bed. Tonight, my husband would expect to sleep together—would he expect more?

My stomach twisted.

I had to trust him to keep his word about sex because as sad as it was, Aléjandro’s word was the one hope I was pinning my future on. A man I didn’t even like before yesterday. I wasn’t sure I liked him now. Given my vast choices of people in my current life—I could acquiesce tolikinghim.

Laying my forehead on my knees, my eyes burned with the return of tears. This time I didn’t try to stop them. I wasn’t sharing my grief. It was all mine, and if I had to bear it, I needed to let a little out when I could.

I wasn’t certain how long I sat crying before I forced myself to stop. It was more that the tears were no longer flowing, and my head was aching.

No one could understand my sadness from the outside. My life appeared better than it had in years past. While Rocco raped me on our wedding night and sex was always at his demand, his routine abuse took years to surface. One successful night with Aléjandro didn’t exactly mean I was out of the woods. I knew from experience that dispositions can easily change.

How long will he put up with my refusal of sex?

Splashing my face with cool water in the bathroom, I stared into my reflection. Self-pity wasn’t the answer. I needed to stay busy. Opening a cabinet to the bare interior, I decided I’d start my unpacking in the bathroom. After all, I’d need my cosmetics. They were all in the suitcase we brought from the Ruiz home. Walking back into the bedroom, I realized we hadn’t gotten our bags out of Aléjandro’s Porsche.

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