Page 7 of Where We Fall

“What would you do if I told you I was taking you tonight? If you had no more days left on Earth?” He sat back with a twinkle in his eye.

I knew he could, but…

We both knew that if I was living my last day, I’d find Noa.

The door opened and Miranda nearly stumbled over me. I looked over at the old man, who was invisible to the rest of the world, and he nodded.

I shoved past Miranda and walked into the room, my heart heavy as I took in a very tired and very pregnant Noa.

She opened her eyes and when she saw me, her face immediately crumpled with sadness. She put her hands over her eyes, but I marched up to her and pulled them away from her face.

I wanted to see her sadness. I wanted to see it all. And I needed to see it in order to forgive her.

“Mr. Andrews. Mr. Andrews!” Miranda was just behind me and I ignored her, placing my hand on Noa’s belly.

When I felt movement beneath my palm, I leaned my forehead against hers. “I’m sorry, Blue. Believe me when I tell you it willneverhappen again. I’ll never leave you alone again.” My eyes began to sting and just as I felt her hang onto me, I was being pulled away.

Noa was looking away from me, blinking back her tears.

“Is the baby okay? Just—let go of me!” I shouted as a security guard grabbed at me again. “Tell me our baby is going to be all right.”

“The baby is fine,” Miranda answered, standing in front of me so I could no longer see Noa. “Not that you’re helping, giving her added stress. Please go, Mr. Andrews. If anything changes, we’ll give you a call.”

“Miranda, please,” I whispered.

Her eyes softened, but she shook her head. “She doesn’t want to see you right now, Dex. Please respect that.”

“Why am I the only one who has to pay for shit? Why is it always me?” I shoved the security guard and turned to walk out.

“Because you’re only looking at it from your point of view,” the old man called out from his seat, his face partially covered by a dog-eared magazine.

I continued all the way to the elevator but when I pressed the button with the arrow facing down, I noticed a familiar face. There was a picture on the wall and the face beneath the glass made me blink a few times.

It’d been years since I’d seen her.

Sessie?

In memory of…

I couldn’t read the rest, my eyes blurring and a lump forming in my throat.

For a short amount of time, Secilia had been something like a guardian angel.

But, as I’d come to learn, not even angels were safe from death.

* * *

Weeks turned into a month.I never got a call. It infuriated me that I wasn’t there for Noa when she needed me. That I wasn’t there forourbaby.

I had enough time to realize that I should’ve called her after she told me about Anna. That I should’ve been available to her, because it was clear she had come to look for me—likely to tell me she was pregnant.

I knew I’d always go back to Noa. I was powerless against her. She called to my soul and I had no say in the matter. Still, I stubbornly fought it. My pride and hurt got in the way and I’d regret it for the rest of my numbered days. But I took my time, letting my feelings stew.

I thought about all the times we made love, me taking her without protection like some sort of barbarian. Like she was my property, without a care for her life or her body.

She’d said she was on birth control, but I hadn’t done my part to make sure she was all right.

It made our lovemaking seem cheap. Like some kind of fuck. While we’d gone rough and fast at times, it meant something. Each touch meant everything.

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