Page 95 of When We Crash

“You’re still talking,” I murmured before bringing his lips to meet mine.

* * *

After Dexter hadhis way with me that morning—and I had my way with him—we got dressed and headed to the funeral home.

After we arrived, we were still debating what to do with Tim’s remains when I blurted out what I was thinking. “Cremation might be the way to go,” I said, frightened that I actually said the words out loud.

“Are you sure?” Dexter looked at me with concern in his eyes. While it was sweet, it wasn’t necessary.

“Absolutely. He was stuck in this shit town his whole life, why would I force him to stay here now?” I turned to the funeral home director. “No offense.”

She smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes.

She probably thinks I’m insane.

“What about when you want to visit him? Or how would we do the ceremony?” Dexter asked.

“I don’t care about anyone else. Tim had me. That’s it. So technically, he doesn’t need a ceremony. And if I want to visit him, I’ll go outside. Nothing would make me happier than knowing he isn’t tied down to this…place,” I said, offering the funeral home director a smile. “Let’s have a little something here, I guess. Put him in a nice urn, and I’ll scatter him.”

Dexter turned to the woman. “She’s made up her mind. Let’s talk details, I guess.” He walked off with her and I looked around.

Such a shame that a room this pretty was a house of grief. I watched Dexter interact with the older woman, her face plastered in makeup. She took every opportunity to smile and laugh despite his somber face. When I chuckled, they both looked at me with confusion.

Yep. She definitely thinks I’m insane.

Dexter ambled over. It was nice to see him in a suit, but he looked better in relaxed clothes. I was a gypsy at heart who wore whatever I liked. I felt more his type when he was wearing his regular clothes.

“So, the ceremony is tomorrow, and you can scatter his ashes after. You can be there while they burn him if you want.”

I grimaced and shook my head. “No offense to people who watch, but I’m sure he’d appreciate his privacy.”

Dexter lifted his eyebrows and we walked out. The snow crunched under our feet as we headed to the rental. “Did you want to meet Molly?” he asked.

“She isn’t going to wonder what the heck I’m doing there?” I buckled my seatbelt and Dexter turned the car on.

“Not to freak you out, but she’s been waiting a long time to meet you. We’ve had a lot of conversations about you.”

I frowned. She was a stranger, so Iwasa little freaked out. “Let’s go, then. I don’t want to keep her waiting.”

As we rode along, I felt closer to the person I used to be than I ever had before. When Dexter and I met, I wasn’t whole. I was getting by, but I was only somewhat happy.

When I moved to Seattle, I changed. I wasn’t who I was meant to be. In the realest and truest sense, I was like a scared little puppy, going through the motions but never saying enough. It was refreshing to come here and, despite the hell so far, find myself again.

Dexter handed me his phone and told me to call Ralph and let him know where we were headed. He answered on the first ring and said he’d meet us there.

“How often do you see her?” It seemed like this was a fairly big deal for them.

“Well, at our graduation, I finally remembered Greg. I kind of lost it after that. That was the day I tried to come back for you, but you’d already left. In those next months, I went to see Molly every day. I wasn’t well after you disappeared. I didn’t want to go anywhere or do anything. She helped me out of that. Ralph and I love her as if she were our mother, much like we love Tracey. So, I try to see her as often as I can.”

It was a small glimpse into Dexter after the Noa storm, and I grabbed at the opportunity.

We stopped in front of a modest Victorian style home, and not thirty seconds later, Ralph pulled up behind us.

I got out and Ralph came over and hugged me. “Ready? She’s been waiting for you.”

“That’s what Dexter said.” I shivered against the cold and looked at the house, wondering about the lady who lived inside it.

“Don’t worry,” Dexter said, holding my hand in his as we walked up the steps. “She’s going to love you. She’s great like that.”

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