Page 54 of When We Crash

I couldn’t take my eyes from the window. She pulled off her pants while she was still sitting on the bed, and I could only thank her for it. I was a hormonal teen, after all. But I tried to be decent and not give in to my desire to watch her.

She glanced up at me, catching my eyes in the window with a smirk. “Come on, you.”

I turned off the light and climbed into bed beside her, pulling her close. My eyes were wide open in the darkness.

Her breaths were even and quiet as she fell asleep again, and I felt myself panic at the thought of losing her.

“I think I’ve fallen for you,” I whispered. “So silly and so quickly. But, nevertheless…”

My lids began to feel heavy and I let them close.

A weight had been lifted between us, only to land on my heart.

Dexter

Throughout the harsh winter,I kept Noa warm in our bubble. She surprised me each day with ease and fit into my life like she was meant to be there.

We got to know Dexter together. Noa made starting overfun.

Classes were moving along quickly, and I found myself in my last semester of high school. Whoever created the class schedules favored us because Noa happened to be in four of my six classes. As I predicted, people had gotten over us, talking to us frequently as if we had always been an item. Becca even apologized to Noa. Noa still didn’t trust her, but I understood why.

There were days I could feel Noa slipping, or days she didn’t want to attend her therapy sessions, and the Angel of Death talked to me. He spoke of patience and love with an undercurrent of pride. It was strange. But I was content to take his words and attempt to apply them to my life.

Spring flew by and I was accepted to MIT. We celebrated, and while I felt Noa’s trepidation, I knew she was happy for me. Almost as happy as I was for myself.

I spent more time with her. I knew it wasn’t realistic to think she’d gain emotional independence that way, but I couldn’t think of a better way to spend my time. She needed to heal, and I wanted her to heal with me.

With summer coming like a freight train, I felt her beginning to worry again.

Does she honestly think I would leave her and never look back?

It seemed so. But I had come up with a plan—unbeknownst to her—with the help of her brother, Tim.

“So,” I started, as we walked from one class to another with my arm around her, “I heard someone’s birthday is coming up.”

“And how did you hear that?” she asked, kicking at the ground.

“I checked your ID a few weeks back. June first, eh?”

She was quiet, and I got the air that something wasn’t right.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Can we not make it a big deal? It’s just another day.” She held her books to her chest, looking down the hall. When someone waved at her, she smiled. But she still didn’t look at me.

I took her books from her, something I was now prone to do. “Hell no. You’re turning eighteen.” We stopped in front of our classroom. “Let me do something special for you.”

I ran my hand through her hair and tilted her chin until she looked up at me.

“I’ve never had a birthday party before,” she whispered.

“Well, it’s my job to change that, I guess.”

“Please, not a big party, Dexter. I’m not ready yet.”

We walked into the classroom and took our seats next to each other.

“Whatever you want. I’ll let Tracey know.” I was already brimming with excitement. I wanted it to be her birthday already so I could share my plans with her.

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