Page 1 of When We Crash

Dexter

I wasin love the day I died. I remember gripping her hand in mine as life left my body. I heard her last breath before mine. And my final thought before I ascended was,Damn, I love this girl.

And then I faded away.

I floated—free. I was living within my mind, it seemed. It was euphoric; no boundaries. I couldn’t see, I couldn’t physically feel, and the earthly emotions I had were diminishing.

I was still disoriented. I felt a certain happiness but…I’m supposed to be with her.My memory, specifically of her, began to dim. I held onto the image of her face with ferocity.

“Why? Why now?” I’d expected an echo. After all, my mind was this vast emptiness. Space upon space, my consciousness did cartwheels.

I was met with silence, and it was maddening.

Even in that quiet, her face filled my thoughts. Her laughter tinkled on in my memory, and I could remember the scent of her skin.

All these things I remembered left me begging. “Send me back. I wasn’t done!”

“You continue to hold onto her. Your memories should be faded by now. And yet,” a voice said through the darkness, “I’ve never seen this before. I haven’t responded to a human in a very long time.”

Send us back. Please send us back.

As if he heard my thoughts, he went on. “Why should I not bring you to your maker? After all, the Angel of Death favors no human. And you aren’t the first to come here, begging for mortality once more. Though I rarely acknowledge their pleas, I still hear them. Why do you beg? Your soul is tired. Let it rest.”

“Tired? You…you’re the Grim Reaper?” I asked.

“I have many names. Now tell me, what makes you so special?”

I tried to think of something that would help my cause.

I hadn’t lived a full life yet?

No, children died tragically all the time.

I was in love?

No. I was sure there were older couples who still loved each other and died.

But I wouldn’t let her go. Maybe others had, but I wouldn’t.

“You said my memories should be gone and they aren’t. I will never let her go. I…I’m damaged goods. I’ll spend a lifetime, a millennium, still pining for her,” I said.

It was silent. Still, I didn’t let my thoughts of her drift from me. It wasn’t easy. Small details were fading. Her scent was gone; her face, a blur of features. But theidea, the essence of her, remained.

“I’ve spent too long in the darkness of grief,” he said—and I wondered if he was flirting with the idea—his somber words sounding tired.

I only wished he would make his decision—in my favor—quickly.

It felt like an eternity. I was blind. Deaf, tasteless, nothing to touch. Everything was her. And yet, I worried beneath the façade of strength that Iwouldforget her.

Will he help me?

Will I make it back to her?

“What do you want from me?” I said the words many would voice in this situation.

I’m making a deal with the devil.

I retracted the thought.

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