Page 28 of Please Hate Me

“Unprotected sex leads to pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. It isyourjob as the man to have a condom to prevent this type of situation,“ Sebastian harped.

“It’syourjob as the man to have a condom,“ Lucian mocked. “Have you ever even needed to use a condom?”

“Well, no, but—“

“Guys!” I cupped my hands around my mouth, making sure I was heard.

The room went silent as all three men looked at me.

“I’m so glad that we’re all having an absolutely terrible time tonight—but can wepleasego find Mason?”

I assumed that Mason had gone back to the apartment. Where else would she go? She had never been shown around the house, and it was easily large enough to get lost in. When I couldn’t find her in there, I tried to stay calm. The boys made quick work of looking in the house and found nothing.

That was when I started to panic. My property was huge and full of dangerous equipment. There were so many places for her to get lost, to get hurt, to hurtherselfif she so desired.

Why did I have to do this?

She wanted to be left alone. I should have just let her be alone.

Stupid, selfish Sophia.

After wasting far too much time inside, we donned our shoes and coats and stepped out into the night. Cameron knew the farm better than anyone, so he, Sebastian, and I searched the property while Lucian hopped in his Jeep to search down the road, just in case.

My eyes burned as I batted away tears, kicking myself for pushing my fantasy onto Mason. I should have just let her go and let her be happy with Seb and Seb alone. But I couldn’t change what was already done, so I channeled all my energy into looking for her.

Using the flashlight on my phone, I started searching through my orchard of apple trees. Row after row of saplings went by, each one empty. I was beginning to feel hopeless, and mybreathing grew frantic until the sound of distant sobs caught my attention. I followed the noises with bated breath. Eventually, I found her sitting in a small clearing near the center of the property.

My first thought was to call Sebastian and have him take care of her. I had done enough damage already. But I also knew this was my mess to clean up.

I called out to her, my tone gentle yet firm.

“Mason.”

The moon barely lit her face as she looked at me for a moment, then turned back around.

“Go away, Sophia.” Her voice was thick with tears.

I had no interest in obeying her command. Slowly, I closed in on her, lowering myself to sit next to her on the ground. I inched closer, careful to leave enough space that we wouldn’t touch accidentally. Mason bunched her fists in the grass, pulling it up by the handful.

“If you don’t like me anymore… that’s all you needed to say,” I breathed. “I wouldn’t have pushed.”

“... That’s not it,” Mason admitted.

“Then what is it? Did you not miss me? Because I missed you.”

To say I missed her was an understatement, actually. I spent countless hours checking the news for Mason, making sure she was okay. I was one step away from buying a VIP pass with a meet and greet to her last tour—I just couldn’t justify spending a thousand dollars to potentially get kicked out of a concert.

Her jaw tensed as she looked down. “Of course I missed you. You were one of the best parts of my life.”

“And you were one of mine—“

“No. You had college, Lucian, your family. I was a part of your life, sure, but I was nowhere close to being a highlight.”

Her words stung like a bee. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. My long-lost high school sweetheart, coming home afterall these years… an hour ago, it felt like a dream come true. How had it turned into this nightmare?

What did I do wrong?

“Did I not make you feel loved?”

---