Page 172 of Please Hate Me

“I need you to take me to the airport.” The only hint of emotion was the shake in her voice.

“You need to take a breath.”

That was a terrible attempt to calm her down, even for me. If I wanted her to stay, I needed to step the fuck up.

She shook her head, and her bottom lip quivered.

“My dad needs me.”

I closed my eyes and held my breath, trying to center myself.

“Your dad is an abuser who—”

“He’s mydad!”

This was the loudest Mason had spoken since coming back, and it killed me.

“Don’t you think I know he’s terrible?” She pointed at her chest. “Lucian, he attached a modified shock collar to my wrist so that he could zap me when I misbehaved.”

A sick feeling formed in my stomach as she marched toward me.

“He starved me within an inch of my life because I wasn’t pretty enough. I’mstillnot pretty enough!“ She sounded angrier now. “I spent the last six years changing every part of me he didn’t like, just so my dad would love me again.”

My eyes burned as she came inches from me.

“If he dies, I will never have time to prove that I deserved his love.” Mason’s gaze bore into mine as her chest shuddered. “Even if that never happens, Ineedto show him I can be a good mom!”

Her voice cracked, filling the room like thunder before a storm. Her hair fell in her face, and she pushed it back with quick, jerky movements.

“Did you know my dad never lost custody of me?”

I shook my head, not sure where this was going.

“Every time my dad missed a phone call or didn’t show up to visit when he promised to, I’d be forced to cry to Leona becausehalf the time my mom wasn’t even allowed to see me. He knew my mom was abusing me, and he never came to save me. Lucian, when I left America, I called him before I boarded the plane, and he promised that if I did everything he said, he’d love me just like he did when I was a little girl.”

The lump in my throat made it impossible for me to swallow.

“I dideverythingto earn his love.” She pointed to her chest again before pulling at her hair, and for a moment, I was worried she was going to rip some out. “I grew my hair out for six fucking years just because he said I looked ugly when it was short—and now he gets to die before I have the last laugh? How the fuck is that fair?”

Tears rolled down her cheeks in fat streams as she came toe to toe with me. The pain in her eyes was almost enough to kill me, and I couldn’t imagine how she was feeling.

I had run through mental monologues in the car, things I’d say to make the situation right, to help her feel better, and to end the night with her in my arms. But all those words disappeared like a handful of sand in the wind.

“He will never be able to tell me why I’ve never been good enough.”

With that, all the anger left her body, leaving her to deflate into my chest. Her hands wound into the fabric of my shirt as she sobbed. I didn’t realize she wasn’t the only one crying until dark, damp spots began dripping into her dark hair. I wrapped my arms around Mason, letting her shake as all the right words stayed balanced on the tip of my tongue.

She looked up at me as her whole body trembled.

“Why am I never good enough for the people I love?”

I couldn’t take the look of desperation in her eyes, so I hid her face in my chest. Her sadness saturated my shirt, soaking into my skin as I struggled to breathe.

She was more than good enough. Unfortunately for her, in a world of white rabbits, Mason was a black cat. Not bad, just misunderstood—unlucky, perhaps. But fuck luck, fuck France, fuck anyone that ever made Mason feel like that, but most importantly—

“Fuck James Albright.”

My words were barely audible as I spoke through my teeth. “There is not a goddamn thing he could ever do to deserve having a daughter as wonderful as you—andfuckhim for not seeing that.”

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