Page 119 of Please Hate Me

“Anything specific you want?” he asked.

Why the fuck did eating have to involve so many decisions?

“Am I allowed to ask for something sweet?”

His copper brows inched toward his hairline. “Darlin’, you could ask for anything in this world, and I’d make it happen.”

“Not out of guilt, right?” The question fell from my lips before I could stop it.

Somehow, Cameron’s eyes widened even further, and it felt like the loose collar of Lucian’s hoodie was strangling me. I softly pulled the fabric away from me, hoping the small influx of air could calm the inferno on my skin.

“Not that I think youshouldfeel guilty!” I squeaked, “It’s just—”

Cameron reached over the island, scooping both of my hands into one of his. A weird feeling of safety washed over me. I hadn’t known this level of comfort for quite a while, and I wasn’t entirely sure what to do with it.

“Everything I do is my choice. Don’t you worry yourself about that.”

My breathing slowed as he held my gaze, sending me into a free fall alongside the stars in his eyes. Was I allowed to have feelings this strong for someone I barely knew? Was it safe for me to get attached to someone as caring as Cameron? Would I hurt him one day?

… Would he hurtme?

“Cameron... Are you going to want me to stay after Lavender is born?” I asked softly.

His expression softened, and a chill ran down my spine as his thumb caressed the back of my hand.

“Only time will tell.”

Of course. That was the only reasonable answer, after all. Still, my heart sank.

“The kids seem to like you, and I hope you’ll want to stay…. But I can’t answer ya until I know whatyouwant.”

Oh.

“I do have one request though,” he continued.

My breath caught. I knew my line of thought wasn’t a healthy one, but I hoped this would lead to some kind of confession about his feelings. I wanted this man, the father of my daughter, to beg me to stay.

“What?” I tried to keep the excitement out of my voice.

“I talked to Seb earlier—”

“How did it go?”

“Fine. That ain’t the point, though.” He looked down, rolling my fingers between his own. “He saidhechose our baby girl’s name… Is that true?”

I swallowed hard as he lifted his gaze. All I could do was nod. No part of me wanted to tell Cameron that I hated the nameLavender, or that I was so desperate to keep Sebastian in my life that I’d allowed him to choose my child’s name.

“I know I ain’t been there for a lot… but I’m not comfortable with another man namingourdaughter.”

Something about his unbridled honesty struck a chord with me. He was being open about something that bothered him, something I could change. I wanted to do that for him.

But... if I did, would it upset Seb?

“I’d really like it if we could pick a name… together,” he explained.

My pulse rushed to my ears.

“If we can’t find one we like, you won’t be mad if I don’t change it… right?”

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