Page 3 of The Man with the Knot

“It’s not that either. I know it takes time to have the life I want. And I reallyamtrying to put in the real work to get there.”

“So what then?” Tanya sounds as confused as I’ve been feeling.

“It’s stupid but… it’s theguypiece of it all.”

“That’s not stupid,” she assures me quickly. “But you mean not having a guy or not knowing what you want in a guy?”

“Not knowing what I want. I mean, of course I know that I want a super gorgeous man. And obviously my guy must be hung.”

“Of course,” Tanya agrees, barely hiding a smile. “That’s a must-have for sure.”

I continue. “Plus, I need the usual romance and flowers and good stuff. But even all of that isn’t quite right. I can’t put it into words, but I can’t manifest my perfect guy because he’s missing something…”

Tanya laughs. “I would make some joke about such a guy actually existing but…”

“Huh,” I muse, rubbing my chin thoughtfully. “Maybe you stole all six of the only ones remaining in the world,” I tease her. “You’re the only woman in the world with six boyfriends, as far as I know.”

“It just means that anything’s possible,” Tanya says in an airy tone. “If I can land six men, then you can definitely find one.”

I nod.

“I just need the one. The perfect one. That’s all.”

“Morgan,” Tanya begins, her tone serious. “I like that you’re dreaming big. But remember, you have to kiss a lot of frogs first, and meet a lot of duds. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, okay? Not only because you’re so young but because there’s no such thing as perfect. What you need to find is perfect foryou.”

I nod thoughtfully, not sure if I’m ready to take Tanya’s words to heart.

“Well, that’s my weird little confession,” I respond, feigning nonchalance but feeling even more dejected about my lack of romance.

“It’s not that weird. Manifesting is actually kind of cool,” Tanya argues. “I like the idea of envisioning an ideal life. It gives you a goal and it helps you weed out distractions.”

“Yeah. And I guess a part of my goal for now is to get the hell out of New York for a vacation!”

Tanya giggles. “Girl, you know it. That’s a worthy goal. Plus, I’m so excited you’re going to an island resort. Hmmm let’s see if I can figure out how this works: I manifest for you a Jason Momoa look-a-like. Beefcake arms that can hold you down while you caress his tribal tattoos.”

I giggle. “Oh, I’d definitely go for that. Or a young Keanu Reeves. You know Keanu Reeves is Hawaiian, right? On his dad’s side.”

“Hot island men are hot island men,” Tanya says authoritatively. “How many bikinis are you packing? The one with the tie-up sides for sure, right?”

I hop off the bed and amble over to my half-packed suitcase. “I solemnly swear that this bag is full of bikinis and flipflops and pretty much nothing else,” I assure her.

“Toss in a couple of short sundresses, too. You’ll need something cute for the clubs,” Tanya instructs me. “And at least one pair of shorts. Bikini top with low-slung shorts screams ‘take me.’”

I oblige my all-knowing friend and toss items from my open drawers into the suitcase.

“Headphones for the plane, lip balm,” Tanya rattles on as I open the top drawer of my nightstand. “Sweater but make it a cute one, not your old NYU one that has a bajillion stains on it.”

I throw items into the pile as Tanya lists them. I spy my dildo and pause. “Hmm.”

“What are you debating about taking? If you have room, just pack it,” Tanya urges me.

“My dildo,” I inform her, knowing that pretty much nothing can shock my experienced friend.

“Nah, ride some real dick.”

“Tanya!” I squeal. “You’re so bad! Besides, I’m not really sure if I’ll find one that’s this good,” I explain cryptically as I turn the oversized phallus over in my hand. “It’s got a knot at the base.”

“Oh my gosh,” Tanya giggles immediately. “Are you serious?”

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