Page 2 of Lakeside Longing

Quinn took a deep breath, her heart pounding in her chest. “I don’t know.” She started pacing, trying to collect her thoughts. “Maybe that was why I was so worried about taking on that role. I felt more nervous in the lead-up to filming than I ever have before.” She paused, her gaze drifting over the lake. “I thought it was just guilt. Yet another straight woman playing a lesbian when there are plenty of queer actresses who would have killed for that part.”

“Did something happen?”

Quinn swallowed hard. “When it came time for the kiss, I thought I’d be fine. It’s just acting, right? Two straight women playing their parts. But then I looked into her eyes, and there was this… This spark.” She shook her head as she spoke, still not quite believing that any of this had happened. “The way she touched my face… It felt electric. It was as if everything went quiet, and it was just the two of us in that moment.” Quinn hesitated, trying to find the words. “It felt real, Piper. I know everyone on set said that we had this amazing chemistry, but there was a level of vulnerability that I didn’t anticipate. I mean, I’ve kissed countless guys both on camera and off camera, and it always felt like… Okay. Nothing world-altering. But this time? I felt seen, like she was looking into parts of me that I’ve kept hidden. I know she was acting. And she did a fantastic job. But I know I wasn’t. Not like she was. And now I feel sick with guilt.”

“Quinn.” Piper’s voice was so soft. “I wish I could hug you right now.”

“Me too.” A tear streaked down her cheek before she could wipe it away.

“What happened after that?”

Quinn shrugged. “Nothing. Well, I somehow managed one more take, but I don’t even remember it, and I’m pretty sureI messed up my lines. I was a nervous wreck by that point. I kept thinking, can she tell? Does she know that I felt something? We’ve never worked together before, and I doubt we ever will again.”

“When did this happen?”

“A month ago.”

Piper sighed. “Why didn’t you call me?”

Quinn swiped at her eye as another tear threatened to fall. “I couldn’t even think about it. I can barely think about it now.”

“Do you think you’re bi?”

Quinn sucked in a breath. “I think I’ve been so caught up feeling guilty and how the whole thing was so unprofessional that I haven’t really processed what happened. But Piper… I felt more on that set than I ever have in my entire life,” she said, her voice cracking.

“Aw, Quinn.”

“How could I not know this about myself?”

Piper gave her this adorable, sad smile. “Not everybody figures it out when they’re teenagers.”

“I know, but…” Quinn exhaled. “It’s not even like I’m actually attracted to this woman. It was… I think it was just that she was a woman.” She stopped pacing. “Piper, I’m gay, aren’t I?”

Piper’s lips slid into a smile. “You know that’s for you to figure out, but it does sound like it. Can I be the first to welcome you to the club?”

Quinn’s hand went to her forehead. “How did I not know?”

Piper laughed softly. “It’s really just hitting you now, isn’t it?”

“I’m shaking,” Quinn said out loud as she slid her hand away and held it out in front of her, her fingers trembling. “I’m actually shaking.”

“It’s okay,” Piper said softly. “It’s a lot to process. You just need time to figure things out.”

Quinn eased herself into one of the Adirondack chairs, her legs suddenly weak. She thought back to high school, to her friends, to her teachers, but she came up with nothing. She hadn’t been attracted to one of them.

Her phone buzzed in her hand, her mother’s name on the screen, and a wave of nausea hit Quinn. “I’m going to have to come out.” She’d said it to herself, momentarily forgetting that Piper was there.

Piper smiled. “Quinn, one step at a time.”

“No, my mother’s calling. I’m going over there for dinner. They’re going to know that something’s wrong.”

“It’s going to be fine. Just tell them you’re burnt out. Don’t say anything until you’re ready to, okay? I highly doubt your parents are going to throw you out.”

That snapped Quinn out of her spiral. “Shit. I’m sorry, Piper.” She shook her head.

“It’s okay. It happened. I survived. And I’m telling you that your family are not going to be anything like my parents were. Based on everything you’ve told me about them, it’s just not going to happen.”

“I know.” Quinn took a deep breath. “I better call her back.”

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