Page 35 of Emily: Hello Kitten

“No restraint,” I demand against his mouth. “No holding back.”

“I never do with you, Kitten.”

seventeen

Isquirm on the day of the wedding as I pull on my dress. I can still feel Adrian inside me. He fucked me so hard last night, growling in my ear, hands running over every inch of my body, again and again until we got to some kind of quiet calm I don’t want to think about.

Because when I think about being in his arms, I’m ashamed.

He’s my professor.

My fucking professor. I even said it while he was inside me. I said, “Fuck me harder, Professor,” instead of “Sir”, and he came on the spot.

We both know it’s wrong, but now we’re literally walking to my sister’s wedding together. The same sister who knows I’m fucking him, even if she doesn’t know who he is.

I can’t look at him in the elevator. I can’t look at him when we get to our seats for the ceremony. I can’t look at him when my sister comes down the aisle in her huge princess ballgown. WhenAdrian takes my hand during the vows, I glance at him from the corner of my eye.

His smile is easy, honest, even if it’s small. But all I feel is anxiety curling inside me. I’ve been using this as a kind of sex vacation while knowing it can’t last. What’s wrong with me? I’m covered in foundation and concealer to hide the marks that Adrian’s left on me, and I’ll have to wear it constantly when I get back to campus or Beth will know.

“Stop thinking and pay attention,” Adrian says in my ear.

“You’re the boss at school, not right now,” I say sharply.

He turns and gives me his full attention. We stare at each other when my sister and Mark say, “I do,” but I don’t take back what I said.

After the bride and groom leave, I hurry back to the hotel and slip into the girls’ bathroom.

What the hell am I doing? He’s my professor! I have to stop. I promised my best friend I’d be done with him. By being here with him, I’m threatening his job, my standing in school, and my friendship. Why? For good sex?

Well, it’s mind-blowing sex, but still.

I wash my hands, almost splash water on my face, but stop because of my makeup.

This pink dress is gorgeous, kind of slinky for a wedding, definitely skirting the line considering it has a cascading neckline that shows off cleavage and two slits up the skirt so my thighs show when I walk, but it’s not white.

It’s also not a dress that Adrian is going to ignore. Just as I can’t ignore him. He looks so good in the light blue button-up with his black tie and black slacks.

I shake my head. We head back tomorrow. That’s when I’ll call it quits. He knows—hehasto know—that this can’t and won’t last. It’s just not possible. It’s not worth all we could lose if we’re found out.

Rubbing my fingernail between my teeth, I head out to the ballroom for the reception. I keep chewing my nail until my mom grabs me for photos.

I smile, do what I have to do, then finally walk into the reception hall. Adrian is talking with the bridesmaid, who’s clearly flirting with him. If he’s flirting back…

I blink away the thought. It’s just something I have to get used to.

Rather than going to my seat, I head to the bar and get a whiskey double. Adrian was definitely right about their not carding. It’s put in my hand without any kind of question. I down it, set the glass down, thank her, then find someone to talk to.

I clap for my sister when she comes in, smile, let her see me there, give my speech that she asked for during the photos, then start to head out when Adrian catches my hand. He motions to my seat.

“I… I’m not feeling well. I’m heading back to the room. Have fun,” I say.

“Don’t,” he warns. “Sit down, Kitten.”

“You should stay and have fun. I’m… I’m gonna go,” I say again.

“Emily, I’m here for you, not to enjoy—”

I suck in a quick breath. If I don’t get myself under control, I’ll cause a whole scene because I’m worked up.

---