Page 41 of Hello Kitten

I squirm and look away. It’s fine. It’s going to hurt for a bit.

Keep your resolve!

I make it through class. Do my homework, study and even go to the gym in my free time. I do everything to keep myself from thinking, but Wednesday class is a special hell. We’re working in groups and Dr. Hayes is behind his desk watching when he’s not helping others.

Right there. Where I told him I fantasized about blowing him. Right where I told him I wanted to fuck me for the whole class to see. I bite my lip so hard it hurts, but can’t help it. My eyes find him again. He’s stroking over the desk thoughtfully until his gaze meets mine.

The desire, the hunger, that primal “I’m going to fuck you right now because I can” in his eyes is like a magnet trying to drag me across the room and into his orbit. I feel myself caving, but Beth grabs my hand.

“What do you think, Emily?”

That keeps me in check until Friday’s class is cancelled. I stare at the sign on the door. Not even an email.

“Five days,” I tell myself. “Five fucking days.”

“Hey, come on, let’s go out,” Emily says. “We can have breakfast.”

“I’m going back to bed. We should go out tonight, you know?” I say, determined, totally determined not to fall back into Adrian.

“Are you sure?”

“There has to be a frat party. That means guys. That means fucking Dr. Hayes out of my system, right?” I ask.

“That’s the Emily I know!” She bounces. “You can find someone else who tastes like sweets.”

I laugh and have an easy day other than the memory of Adrian’s last kiss. The long, drawn out one that he just wouldn’t let end. It got softer and softer, more and more fragile until it felt natural for us to pull apart.

Shaking my head of the thought I fix my purple lipstick and show off my shimmery black top that just ties around the back and my white mini-skirt. I’m going to have a good night. I’m going to get drunk and laid. I’m going to forget about Adrian.

I can last longer than five days.

I tell myself that again and again until I’ve had four screwdrivers and am in the arms of a guy whose name doesn’t matter as Adrian’s name won’t leave my mind. Even when I stumble away from a guy who keeps offering to take me to bed instead of to Beth.

When I get outside, I stare at the stars and smile to myself. They’re so pretty. I take my phone out and scroll. Beth and Danielle’s number jump out, but I don’t want to cuddle them. I don’t want to kiss them.

I findhisnumber and call. His voice will be enough.

“Emily?” Adrian answers.

“Why do you have to be a professor?” I demand.

“Are you drunk?”

“I hate you. I hate that you’re my professor. I hate that I can’t stop thinking about you. Why do you have to be you?” I demand.

“Where are you, kitten?”

Fuck, why am I calling him, why am I making this harder than I should?

“If I tell you, you’ll come get me and that’s not allowed. You’re not allowed to touch ... I love when you touch,” I moan.

“You’re drunk. I’m going to come get you,” he decides.

“You don’t know where I am. And I’m going home,” I decide with plenty of confidence before I stumble in my heels and fall. I laugh despite the cut on my knee. “I hate you, Adrian.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I have to,” I whisper.

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