Page 32 of Something Old

“Why wouldn’t he eat it?”

“I do not know. And every time I put my arm around him, he finds a reason to move away from me. And he won’t kiss me. I mean never mind anything else a husband and wifecoulddo - he won’t evenkissme.”

This time I can’t hold the tears back. Saying it all out loud make it so much more real and hearing my own words make me realize just how much it has been hurting me to feel this constant push from him.

“He just - he just constantly rejects me. It’s really hurting me.” I admit.

I can’t believe I just told his sister all of that. But I don’t have anyone else to talk to. I can’t talk to Mas about it, and I guess I just really needed to talk.

“Oh no, sweetie. I’m so sorry to hear that. You know - Mas has always been the hardest one to get through to. He has a massive heart. But he can seem so cold. It’s because of the way we were raised.” She says, leaning back in the sun lounger.

“What do you mean? How was he raised?”

“My dad is not the most affectionate guy on the planet. In fact - he showed no emotions at all. You know Mas is the oldest, so my dad has been sort of training him ever since he was a kid - his entire purpose has always been to take over from my dad in the family business. I don’t think Mas has ever felt or experienced love. I don’t think he knows what it is.”

“Really? He’s never felt love?”

She smiles a tight smile and shrugs. “He had it the hardest, I think. Dealing with my dad.”

“What do you think I should do?” I ask, rolling my entire body towards her because I desperately need advice from someone who knows Mas as well as she does.

“I think - you should give him a chance. Maybe he’s scared. He really is a good guy. He’s a great brother. He’s stubborn and annoying—” she laughs, “but I love him to bits. If you just give him a chance to open up to you - I’m sure he will.”

She sounds so sincere and sure of her own advice. Maybe I was giving up too soon.

Maybe I just need to keep trying for a little longer.

My heart feels so much lighter sitting out at the pool with Dalila on this beautiful sunny day.

She hands me another strawberry cocktail and then tips her own towards me. “Cheers.” She says.

“Cheers.” I reply, smiling for the first time in a few days.

I think everything is going to be ok.

I will show him what love really is. I can teach him how to love.

He deserves that. Everyone does.

And I want to do that for him.

Dalila and I lay by the pool all afternoon. When Mas gets home, we are both a little tipsy and our skin is rosy and pink.

She hears him coming through and turns to wave at him.

“Hey brother.” She says giggling.

“What are you two doing?” He asks, looking down on both of us.

It doesn’t go unnoticed how his eyes take in my body, wearing nothing but my blue bikini. I can see he likes it.

I really do just need to give him a little more time. That’s all.

“I was just leaving.” Dalila stands up, stretching, then pulls her summer dress over her head. She leans over the sun lounger and hugs me. “Thanks so much for a fun afternoon sweetie. I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye babe. Thanks - for everything.” I grin.

Mas turn to walk her out. I hear them chatting away.

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