Page 52 of Something Old

I feel like a bit of an asshole as I sneak out of the front door.

On the steps in the front of the house I pull my sneakers on. I told the Uber driver to wait for me just outside the property.

As long as I am on the plane before he checks the notifications that I booked a ticket.

All the way to the airport I have my eyes continuously checking the rearview mirror, but there is no sign of him. He is still asleep, I hope. Completely unaware that I’m not lying next to him.

At the airport I hurry to the counter and book a ticket, I’m really lucky before the next flight is boarding in thirty minutes and I made it just in time to be on it.

Sitting on the plane, staring out of the window next to me at the land far below - a beautiful view with the city lights flickering like stars on the ground - I feel immense guilt. It’s not like me at all - to just up and leave without telling anyone. I also feel relieved though because I’m on my way. Mas didn’t arrive out of nowhere or send some of his men to stop me just as I was boarding.

I made it.

I’m getting away for a little while.

I need this more than I think I know.

Ever since the wedding I was in a little bit of a dream land. It all happened so fast, and I’ve changed so much since then. I guess I’ve grown up a lot - a dose of pain and the harsh slap of reality will do that to a person.

Leaning my head back I close my eyes. I’m too anxious to sleep, but I should at least try.

Arriving in Hawaii I forget all my concerns. The energetic, bubbly and viby nature of this place wakes me up and has me excited for this time alone.

I ask the taxi driver to take me to the beach near where we stayed last time. Once I am there, I find a little beach chalet - something small, just for me - and I book it for a week.

That will be enough time to sort my head out, clear my thoughts and get away from Mas so that I can figure it all out.

Standing on the front deck looking towards the ocean I am smiling, but my heart feels heavy.

I wish things had gone differently. I wish this place, where I had my honeymoon, was filled with fond memories instead of memories of being rejected repeatedly.

I’ll have to make fresh memories here - on my own - diving, hiking, making new friends.

I sit out on the deck watching the sun sink into the ocean.

I try not to think about him.

But in truth - he is all I can think about.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Masaccio

Istretch my legs out and feel the pull of sleepy muscles. I slept really well.

A deep sleep with pleasant dreams.

Rolling over towards Leora’s side of the bed I run my hand over the sheet, searching for her. But she’s not there and the blankets are cold where she would have been lying.

I guess she got up early.

I wonder if she slept well. I know I was very pushy moving her things in here, but I just want her near me, and she keeps blocking me. This was the only way I could think for her to be close to be without being able to run away.

I toss the blankets aside and sit up, stretching my arms and back, yawning. Then I climb out of bed and head downstairs where I can hopefully have a coffee with my wife and maybe talk to her a little about the changes I made.

But she’s not in the kitchen.

I make a cup coffee for each of us anyway, then carry hers through to the living room - the outside patio - the pool area.

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