Page 21 of Something Old

You know what - it’s just a challenge that’s all.

I’ll embrace the challenge - it’ll make it so much better when he is ready.

Except that the entire week of our honeymoon - no matter what I do - he rejects me.

I try the pink lace, the black lace, the red lace and even wearing nothing at all.

I try being a little forceful, and a little playful and he ignores me.

He doesn’t even want to take me for dinners or lunches or join me for walks on the beach.

He’s boring. Or he just finds me boring. I don’t know. I don’t understand at all.

It’s started to get really exhausting just trying to get him to make love to me. I never expected it to be this difficult. I mean, he doesn’t even want to eat breakfast with me - so how can I convince him to have sex with me?

By the second to the last day of our honeymoon, we have hardly spoken at all and I’m feeling miserable.

I’m accepting that he is just not interested in me.

I don’t really want to believe that this is how my married life is going to be - but I don’t know what else to do.

Maybe I need to give him a little bit of space for now and when we get home, I can try again.

He married me. I’m his wife. He’s a man - doesn’t he have needs for affection and connection just like everyone else in the world?

I just need to be patient - that’s all.

The flight back home I am a lot more quiet than usual. I keep to myself and read a book I purchased in Hawaii. I let him be. Because that’s what he seems to want for now.

Maybe, just maybe, he prefers to be the one who chases, and he doesn’t like me to be so forward. So, I’ll step back and wait for him to come to me this time.

CHAPTER NINE

Masaccio

Itoss the file of papers across my desk. The file skids across the surface and the papers spill out onto the floor. Floating to the ground.

I’m at the office in my warehouse on the docks. I had to get out of the house. Leaning back in my chair I run my hands through my hair. My mood has been terrible lately.

My patience is gone, my frustration levels are high - I’m really struggling.

It’s all because ofher. Leora is driving me crazy.

She paraded around during our honeymoon in the sexiest, skimpiest outfits. She has been taunting me and teasing me since we got married. Her tight little body and that forward feisty attitude of her is making it harder and harder for me to say no.

But I know the moment I give in to her she will assume it’s an emotional connection and that will be even more draining for me. I can’t handle her. I’ve never lived with a woman. I’ve never had one spend this much time in such close proximity to me.

I don’t know what to do with her.

I have to keep saying no.

But how?

I, really need her to stop looking so fucking sexy all the time.

Fuck.

I’m annoyed.

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