Page 39 of Something New

The problem is that I know exactly what I did. I remember everything. Despite the raging headache from drinking too muchI wasn’t so drunk that I can blame my stupid choices on the alcohol. I knew exactly what I was doing. Slowly lifting my head, I turn to look at him. He’s fast asleep still.

I need to get out of here.

I can’t handle any kind of conversation with him this morning. Last night I fell for everything he said - hook, line, and sinker.

All of my plans to have dinner and get home as quickly as possible faded the longer I stayed, because Ienjoyed it.

Dinner was amazing. He was the perfect gentleman, and he made me feel more beautiful than I have felt in my life.

I drag the blankets off my side of the bed, lifting his arm so that I can sneak away from him without disturbing him. I put his arm back down on the bed and wrap the blankets over him. Then I grab my dress, panties, and heels and rush out of the room.

In the living room I get dressed in a hurry, glancing at the bedroom door, terrified that he will come out at any moment.

Where is my phone? I search the area around myself trying to remember what I did with it.

Oh, thank goodness, it’s on the kitchen counter. I must have left it there when he started kissing me.

Wow, that kiss was like nothing I had ever experienced before - in fact the entire night was pleasurable that my body is still tingling with delight.

I press my fingers against my eyes.

I lost my virginity. To Tuomo Vece.

I am such an idiot.

But the worst part is that if I had to go back in time I would do it all over again. It wasincredible.

But it can’t happen again.

Double checking that I have everything I walk towards his front door, pulling it open, sneaking out and closing it behind myself. I breathe a sigh of relief outside in the hallway.

In the elevator, riding down the foyer, I book an Uber and keep telling myself that it’s all fine.

Everything is going to be fine because I had fun, I don’t regret what happened, I just have to be careful with how I handle things in the future.

But I’m convinced that Tuomo got what he wanted. The fantasy of being with me. He held onto it for six years and now he got it out of his system, and I think he will leave me alone.

I hate the fact that my heart pangs when I decide I can’t see him again. It should be the obvious choice, but part of me is arguing.

I hurry out of the building and out into the street. This red dress looks ridiculous in day light. The people walking past me are wearing jeans and slacks and normal dresses. It’s so obvious that I am wearing the same thing I wore last night, and I am doing the walk of shame.

I keep my eyes low, wishing for the Uber to arrive quickly. Even though I am embarrassed I can’t help smiling to myself. I know what it’s like to be with a man - and oh my word it isamazing.Whether or not I want to, I will fantasize about him for a while.

The driver pulls up next to me and I duck inside.

He grins at me in the rearview mirror. “Did you have a fun night?” He teases.

“I did, thank you very much.” I snark back at him.

I click my phone to check my messages, now that I am out of his place, I want to see who was looking for me last night. Hayley, wondering why I am so quiet - and an email from the HR department at my new job. I click on it, eager to read it but my phone battery dies before it opens.

Dammit.

Excitement rushes through me and causes butterflies to dance around in my stomach. My new job is starting next week - it’s so close. That’s all I need to think about. That’s all that matters.

This whole thing with Tuomo should be over now that he got what he wanted, and I can carry on with my life.

The Uber driver stops outside my apartment.

---