Page 84 of Something New

She’s just arriving around the corner. Thank fuck.

I climb out of my car and walk towards the front door of her building. I watch her park, a smile on my face.

When she climbs out of the car I am standing right there, wrapping my arm around her and holding her for a moment. “Hello, little bird.”

She nods, tense against me. “Hello.”

“Are you ok, you’re really pale.”

“I’m having a terrible morning.” She says.

“Let’s get you inside. I read online that the morning sickness can be a lot worse on some mornings than others.”

“Sure.” She mumbles, walking as though she was in a trance.

I follow her upstairs and into her apartment.

She sits on the edge of the bed with a blank expression.

I pull the arm chair up close, pushing her knees apart I pull her into a hug. “It’s going to be ok, little bird. We will get through this together. What can I get for you? Do you want some peppermint tea?”

“Sure.” She responds, cold and distant.

What is going on? This seems too intense to just be morning sickness.

“Where were you now?”

“At the doctor’s office.”

I narrow my eyes towards her. “You should have told me. I would have gone with you. I want to be there for you at every appointment.”

“Sure.” She says again, pushing against my patience.

“Did the doctor say anything about the baby? Is it healthy? Are you healthy?” I ask with concern.

“We are both fine, Tuomo.” Her voice is tight. Void of emotion.

I stand up, walking towards the kitchen to shake off some of the agitation that is building inside me. At the restaurant yesterday she was so eager - she was receptive and affectionate. Nothinglike she is being right now. Pregnancy can create mood swings - but what is going on?

I make her a cup of tea and set it down on the bedside table. A powerful scent of peppermint fills the air. I close my eyes and breathe it in. When I open my eyes again, I feel a little more clear-headed. She is going to go through emotional highs and lows. I just have to be there for her. That’s all.

I lean forward and take her hands. She doesn’t look at me.

“Nerissa, we were talking a little yesterday about the future and I promised to take care of you. If you are worried about that - I don’t want, you to be.” I feel around in my pocket and pull out the velvet box.

A warm smile of excitement touches my face.

“I want to marry you. I want you to be my wife. I want to give you and our baby the entire world. I will spend every day trying to make you smile.” I flip the lid open, revealing the ring I had made for her. The diamond bird. It has never belonged to anyone. It has no sordid history, no ties to my family’s past. It is new and will only ever be hers.

“Will you marry me, little bird?”

Finally, she lifts her eyes towards me, but the anger in them makes me stagger backwards. I lean back in the armchair, my fingers clasping the velvet box. What is going on?

“Nerissa?” I stammer.

“I know what you did, Tuomo.” She says.

“What I did?” I whisper.

---