Page 53 of Something New

Putting my phone face down on the counter because I can’t even bear to look at my reflection in the dark screen, I pull the bowl of noodles back towards myself and push the fork into them, swooshing them back and forth. I can’t keep doing this.

I need to get my life together.

Being with Tuomo is going to get me nowhere. He is distracting me from what’s important. And I’ll fall for him and then boom - he will get bored with me and ditch me like a ton of bricks. I deserve more.

I should know better, but apparently, I’ve lost all sense of responsibility and reason.

Rolling my eyes at myself I sigh and force a forkful of noodles into my mouth. I can’t afford to waste food.

I’m jobless, soon to be homeless if I don’t get my ass into gear.

I pull a face as I chew, because the noodles are pretty gross cold, I decide to make a point of sayingnowhen Tuomo asks me out the next time. I have to set up some healthy boundaries. My life is busy falling apart and all I seem to be focused on is how good he makes me feel. But that’s temporary. My career, and future, and goals are so much more important.

I finish my noodles and rinse the bowl, setting it upside down in the drying rack.

It’s almost three in the afternoon and I should get online and do some job hunting. I feel so unmotivated it’s scary.

But I have to.

I turn from the kitchen sink and my apartment door flies open.

I scream in fright, not knowing what the hell is going on.

Hayley bursts inside like a tornado. She is scowling, but also relieved - and it confuses me.

“Oh good. You’re alive. Are you on drugs? Did you become an alcoholic or something? What the hell, Nerissa. You can’t just ignore me and then send me a message like that.” She is talking fast and as she waves her phone at me.

“Hayley, oh my word you gave me a heart attack.”

“And what do you think you’ve done to me with all the ignoring and bullshit? You didn’t start working? I thought you’ve been too busy to reply?”

Shit.

I told her that.

I bite my bottom lip and stare at her, wondering how to explain the mess I’m in.

Her eyes soften when she sees my expression and the tension in my stance.

“It’s three o’clock and you’re still in your pajamas.” She sighs. “Oh man. You really need to tell me what’s going on.” She walks over to me and pulls me into a tight hug. I lean against her, not realizing how badly I needed this.

When she steps back, she takes my hand and leads me to the bed, forcing me to sit down. Then she goes to the kitchen and grabs two wine glasses, carrying them back to where I’m sitting.

She sighs as she drags the armchair right next to the bed and sits down in it, kicking her shoes off and stretching her legs out onto the bed.

“You may as well get comfortable, girl, because I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what is going on.” She says, pouring us each a glass of wine.

I lean forward and take the glass of wine from her.

“It’s kind of complicated.” I say, swirling the dry white in the glass and watching it splash up against the edges.

“I think you’ll find, when you talk, that it’s not as complicated as you think.”

My voice quakes as I unload my worries onto her, recounting the disappointment of the job falling through and the constant stream of rejections, each one lacking a legitimate reason. A deep sense of fear for what lies ahead engulfs me, leaving me perplexed and unable to make sense of it all.

She listens, topping up the wine glass as we chat. But in all honesty, I am struggling to drink it. I’ve barely had half a glass, and it’s not sitting well with me today. Maybe I’m just too tired. I put the wine glass down on my bedside table.

When I’m done talking, she pulls her mouth into a sarcastic smile. “Ok, but what are you hiding?”

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