Page 49 of Something New

I should tell her what’s going on.

“What am I doing?” I huff, flopping backwards onto my bed.

I sit up again, my head is too busy, and I need to clear it. I never got around to doing yoga in the park. I stand up and wiggle out of the clothes I am wearing and search my closet for my gym tights and crop top. Dressed, I grab my yoga mat and a bottleof water. Purposefully leaving my phone behind because I need space to think and I can’t do that if Tuomo keeps messaging me, I leave the apartment and start walking towards the park.

It’s another beautiful day, even though the sun is not as bright as it was yesterday, the soft layer of gray clouds is peaceful and eases the heat away a bit.

I love summer, but what I really love is over Christmas when it snows. I’ve always wanted to cuddle someone special as we sat by a massive fireplace and sipped hot chocolate together.

I also want to do other, sexier things in front of a fireplace. I grin to myself, picture Tuomo and the magical things he did with his mouth last night.

Then I roll my eyes and get annoyed with myself and the woman walking towards me throws me a weird look. She thought I was rolling my eyes at her. I should really pay attention to what my face is doing. It’s hard to hide your emotions when you paint them all over your face.

I smile at her, but it’s too late. She’s already offended. She snubs her nose at me and walks faster, passing me with a huff.

The rest of the walk to the park I ignore my thoughts and pay attention to the here and now. Live in the moment. It’s the best way to ease anxiety or worry that’s bothering you.

I watch the people and listen to all the sounds of the city.

There are a couple of people doing yoga in the park already. It’s popular here, near the pond. Even with kids running back and forth, screaming, and laughing, it’s easy to relax and zone out.

However, every single position I get into makes me think of Tuomo.

I keep picturing him folding me this way and that way and bending me over just like this. It’s driving me crazy and making me so horny I can’t focus on my breathing.

I push through the entire sequence which lasts forty-five minutes, but it’s messy and my breathing is off, and it makes me more flustered than anything else.

At the end of it I just lie on my back staring at the sky and the tops of the trees moving in the wind.

I’m hopeless.

The next day Tuomo takes me out again.

And then day after that.

And every day that I spend with him makes it easier to forget the dangers and pretend that he is the perfect man for me.

One night, walking along the waterfront with the city lights shining in across the water he takes my hand and stops me. I turn to face him, and he pulls me close to his chest, wrapping his arms around me.

“Little bird.” His deep voice rumbles against my chest. I stare up into his dark chocolate eyes.

“Mm?” I say, looking at his lips, wanting to kiss him again.

“I want you to know how much you mean to me. The time we spend together - it’s not just casual fun to me. It’s really special. I appreciate every moment with you.”

I shift nervously against him.

I love it when he speaks like this. I love hearing his heart and he seems to wear it on his sleeve when he is around me. It’s so mature that he can speak about his emotions openly.

But it makes me nervous too because I am scared to tell him how I feel.

I am scared to admit to myself how I’ve fallen for him.

“You don’t have to say anything, little bird.” He smiles. “You don’t have to be ready for anything. I just want you to know how special you are.”

I shake my head, lowering my eyes because I’m nervous.

“You are really special to me too, Tuomo.” I whisper.

---