Page 19 of Something New

“I don’t think I want a prince charming. I think I just want to work and focus on my future. boys are stupid.”

“That’s my girl.” Hayley says. “Men suck.”

“Come on.” I pull her to her feet. “I am going to get you an Uber.”

She sighs and follows me downstairs. The club is getting a lot emptier. It’s definitely home time now.

Once Hayley is inside the Uber, I booked for her and on her way home I book one for myself and wait. It doesn’t take long at all because this is a popular part of the city. I’m certain they park around the corner and wait.

I am exhausted and looking forward to a quick shower and a warm bed. I’m not used to wearing these heels, my feet ache, but wow they make my legs look amazing.

I smile as I watch the city lights flash past the window all the way home.

I had an epic night.

I have awesome friends and a bright future ahead of me. This is the life I imagined for myself - I’m living it.

I think of my mom, and how proud she would have been when I graduated. And that I did so well. Maybe tonight, instead of partying, I would have gone to a fancy dinner with her. Something special that we could have treated ourselves to. Celebrating the graduation and my birthday at the same time.

I sigh, looking down at my hands. I miss her so much. Not a day goes by when I don’t wish she was still with me.

But I’m doing really well mom. Things are going so well for me.Not with boys, but hey, I was never that good with boys so there isn’t anything new there.I chuckle to myself, and the Uber driver eyes me in the rearview mirror.

He pulls up outside my apartment.

Home sweet home.

“Thank you.” I say, climbing out and waving goodbye.

He waits until I am inside the building, before he drives away which I think is sweet of him.

Ithought I meant something to Riley. Him ditching me tonight stings, even if I am trying not to let it get to me. Who ghosts a girl on her birthday? What the fucking fuck?

I roll my eyes and slip my feet out of my heels to climb the two flights of stairs to my apartment. The elevator has been broken for a while and there is no way my poor feet can handle any more time in these gorgeous shoes.

I just don’t get it. I really have shit luck with boys. In fact, he is the third one who just disappeared on me. Ghosted me. I guess I’m just not worth that much to them.

I hate how much it hurts me.

No one likes rejection, But just for once I want to be on the other side of that, to be wanted. To be chosen, wholeheartedly and enthusiastically. I want them to be afraid of losing me, not waiting to be ditched.

Some people go their whole lives wanting to know what that’s like. Maybe I am doomed to be one of those lost souls who never knows.

I’ll have to get six cats, a weird hobby that requires wool, and a pink fluffy gown so I sit around in my apartment all day.

I laugh, almost at my front door.

“What an awesome night.” I say to myself as I slip the key into the door and push it open.

It’s so dark, I should have left a light on.

Running my hand along the wall I flick the switch, and bright light floods the small space. It’s too much light, after being in the dimly lit club, and because I am so tired, it’s just too much. I walk over to my bed, flick on the fairy lights and turn off the big light by the door again.

That’s much better. The soft twinkling glitter of the fairy lights is pretty, and it makes my home cozy and special.

Standing in front of my closet and the long mirror on it, I smile.

I don’t recognize the woman in the mirror. I don’t see myself in that reflection.

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