Page 88 of Make It Without You

I hold my hand over my mouth as I try to hold back a sob. It doesn’t work. I’m going to lose the final piece of my childhood.

“Where are you at?” I ask, breathing through the emotions.

“In New York. At Rutherford Hospital.”

Sitting on my couch I feel numb. Like I’m so numb to losing people but it still hurts.

I run my hand through my hair, stopping when I remember it’s in a braid. “Okay, I can try to be there tonight. I just need to pack and book a flight.”

“I can do that. You pack and I’ll send you your flight information.”

I blow out a relieved breath. “Thanks, Mom.”

“You’re welcome, honey. I’ll see you soon.”

I stare at nothing on my wall as I come to terms with another loss. Picking up my phone I find Jax’s number and send her a text. Jax and I live in the same apartment complex but at different ends.

Me: Hey can I ask for a favor?

Jax: Sure, what’s up?

Me: I have to go to New York. I’m not sure for how long. Will you watch Biscuit for me? She just needs food twice a day and clean water.

Jax: Of course. I’ll head over now to get your key.

Me: Thank you.

I get moving and pack my suitcases. I’m not sure how long I’ll be there, so I pack for two weeks just to be careful. I’m putting my toiletries in my suitcase when I hear a knock on my door.

Checking the peephole I see it’s Jax and let her in.

“Is everything okay?” She asks when I close the door.

Shaking my head, I walk towards the bowl with my keys and fish out my spare apartment key. “No. Gloria is sick. She’s been sick. And she hid it from me.”

The anger I feel at being the last to know pours out as the tears fall down my face. Jax rushes towards me and holds me as I break down. It’s selfish to be angry over someone not telling you they were dying.

“Please don’t tell Kamryn,” I say through my tears.

Jax’s hands stop moving on my back and she pulls away. “I won’t lie to my sister if she asks if I’ve seen you.”

I nod my head because that’s fair.

Jax leaves and shortly after my phone dings with a message from my mom with my ticket confirmation and a notice that a car is here to pick me up.

I heft my suitcases downstairs and then I’m off to the airport with no idea what’s to greet me when I arrive.

The flightinto New York was uneventful. But I was antsy the entire time. I have no clue what to expect. And the hurt and anger over losing another person I love, I can’t mask that.

When we deboard the plane, I follow the line right to the luggage carousel. While waiting I turn my phone back on and a message from Adam is waiting.

Adam: Hi sunshine.

Adam: Any plans this weekend?

Me: Hi baby.

Me: I can’t this weekend. I’m in New York.

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