Page 8 of Make It Without You

Two more plays and we score the first touchdown of the game.

I’m not saying this just because I’m on the team. But if junior varsity had the playing field that varsity had, then we’d totally win it all.

Emily

They won the game. And it’s not like it was the championship game or anything. But winning the first game of the season is a big deal. So I’ve been told.

Sitting with my new friend and my new friend’s family, I don’t feel so alone anymore.

When the game is over, we all wait by the gym for the boys to come out. I’m not nervous or anything. But my body does have a mind of its own.

“Stop fidgeting,” Kamryn scolds.

I stop moving altogether and drop my hands. Looking at her from the corner of my eye. “I didn’t realize I was.”

Kamryn nods her head like she knows. And it’s a little unnerving that she can see right through me.

“What?” I ask, feeling incredibly nervous and unsure.

Kamryn looks over at James’s parents and then pulls me off to the side. “It’s okay, you know?”

“What’s okay?”

“If you like James,” she tells me as if we’re discussing taking over the world.

“I don’t?—”

“Yes you do,” Kamryn cuts me off. “And for what it’s worth, I think he likes you too.”

I perk up at the confession. “How do you know?”

“I’ve known James longer than I’ve known Liam, and I’ve never seen him act like this around any other girl. Trust me, there have not been a lot. There's actually been nobody he’s ever dated. But he’s different around you. I know this is only high school, but I have a hunch that this could be something spectacular between the two of you.”

Kamryn’s words float around in my mind until the boys walk out of the locker room.

My gaze instantly locks in on James. Like it has since the first day of school.

Do I like James? I feel safe around him. I know that when he’s around I never want him or I to have to leave. But, like? Is a crush the same thing as like? If so, then I have THE biggest crush on James. But what do I do? I’ve never even kissed a boy. I mean, it makes sense. I’m only fourteen, well fifteen in February.

But still.

Am I ready to admit that I have a crush on James? I’ll wait for him to say it first. Yeah, I like that.

“You came!” James exclaims when he’s right in front of me.

We do that awkward one-armed hug thing.

“I did. You did great.” I’m assuming that’s the correct thing to say. Judging by his smile, it is.

“Thanks. So are you coming over to my house?” He looks so nervous. Is my nervousness projecting onto him? Or is it the other way around?

“Yes. Only if you want me to though.”

“I do. It’ll be fun.”

After chatting idly at the school, we all pile into the vehicles. Me, riding with James and his family, and Kamryn riding with Liam’s family to James’s house.

I’m now officially nervous. I haven’t spoken a lot with James’s parents. I sat tucked by Kamryn’s side for the entirety of the game so the conversation didn’t go further than the simple greetings. But now they do their best to include me in the conversation once we’re in the car. For the most part, I just observe the easy-going nature between James and his parents. A pang of jealousy rears its head, but I squash it down real quick.

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