Page 47 of Make It Without You

I look out across the lawn as I admit to Brandon what I’ve been feeling. “I feel like I’m not allowed to move on. Like I’m stuck in this purgatory of emotions and constantly in wait. Waiting for him to just walk through the door of our apartment with some sports stat. I think that’s what I miss the most. Him telling me something that had him bursting at the seams.” I turn to look at Brandon. “But this new guy, Adam, he’s the dad of one of my students. Older than me. I’m not sure how much older. But he’s the first guy my heart has jumped to since James and I am terrified.”

“Em, you know it’s okay to move on?”

I turn my head and look at Brandon. “I know. But saying it and doing it are two different things.”

“What a pair we are,” Brandon announces and slings his arm over my shoulder. We sit on the front steps watching the last bit of light fade from the sky. And as our breath puffs become visible our goodbye comes around.

“You and Angie should come and visit. I’m not sure how easy it will be to see her. But maybe Kamryn would like to see her.”

“Maybe,” Brandon muses.

With a kiss on my forehead, Brandon strolls across our yards and back into his house. When I hear the thud of the front door closing, I turn to go inside.

Maybe this trip wasn’t so bad. Emotionally I’m exhausted. But mentally I’ve never felt better.

Adam

“Ijust want everyone to be prepared for the holiday rush.”

I called my staff in for a bi-monthly meeting. We’ve slacked off on working like a team and with Christmas and New Year’s Eve rolling around I need everyone to be prepared. As it’s still the off-season, Jeff and I switch off mid-day and night shifts. The night shifts, while I enjoy the hustle and bustle, take me away from Dylan too often.

How I came into owning this restaurant was pure luck. When a distant relative I had never met passed away, confusion hit when I was left with a sizable inheritance. It was enough that I could afford to have built a big enough house for me and Chelsea, and eventually Dylan.

The previous tenant in this space had a dwindling business and I saw the potential when my realtor sent me spaces to look at. My offer was accepted and renovations for this place started soon after. My restaurant is located in the heart of the city. We’ve hosted baby showers, wedding showers, bachelor and bachelorette parties, birthdays, and other events that are worthy of celebrating. During the summer we convert to more of a bar with live music every Friday and Saturday night.

Jeff clears his throat from next to me. “We have a few dinner reservations throughout the week and lunch parties every Saturday and Sunday. The schedule will reflect who’s working with whom.”

I stand off to the side as I watch Jeff indicate what’s expected of everyone. Glancing around, I see appreciative looks from my staff. Jeff took to his role perfectly and every day I thank whomever that they sent him here.

I feel my phone buzz in my jeans pocket and make no move to look at who’s texting me. Tuning back into the now, I see everyone nodding their heads before gathering their belongings.

Shit!

Jeff looks at me with a pointed stare knowing that I zoned out. Him and Tammy, my lead chef, are the last two in the main dining room with me.

“Sorry,” I sheepishly tell them.

They glance at one another before Tammy speaks up. “Bossman, are you sure you’re okay?”

Tammy has been with me from the start. She’s closer to my parent’s age, so she’s seen every face I have to offer.

“Yeah. Yeah, I promise I’m good. If you two are good for the rest of the day, I’m gonna head out.”

I ignore their pointed and concerned stares. Patting my jeans I feel for my keys and pull my phone out when I push open the door to leave.

Emily: Hey. Any chance you want to get a coffee?

It’s been a while since I’ve seen or heard from her. I thought she decided to blow me off. I know she’s resistant to starting a friendship with her student’s Dad, but I meant what I said in that I’m not going anywhere.

Me: Yeah. I’m just walking out from a meeting. Wanna meet at Millennial Bean?

Emily: Perfect. I’ll see you soon.

Me: See you soon.

I make the short drive to the coffee shop that’s located in the Hill, which houses a handful of restaurants and bars that naturally attract millennials and young college students looking for a place to blow off steam.

I love this area. It’s where I always pictured myself raising kids. Dylan loves it here, so I love the feeling that I did something right. Anytime we come here, he always begs to go get ice cream. Can’t say I blame him. The Twisted Cow has some of the best ice cream I’ve ever had.

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