Page 4 of Make It Without You

“So you’re a freshman?” She asks while the boys continue with whatever they’re talking about.

“Yeah,” I’m sure my response is barely audible over the volume in the cafeteria. But she nods like she heard me.

“I have a sister who’s a couple years younger than me. Liam does too. So you all should be in high school together.” The light in her expression as she talks about her younger sister is why I always wished I had a younger sibling or, at least, an older sibling.

“That’s cool. What are their names?”

“My sister is Jaclyn. But, everyone calls her Jax. Liam’s sister in Angela, but everyone calls her Angie. Do you have any siblings?”

I shake my head slowly. “No. It’s just me.”

Kamryn gives me a face of sorry. “Well you should come hang out with me...and these guys. They’re always together. Then again, Liam and I are always together.”

I give her a quizzical look.

“No. Not like that. Liam and I have been friends since elementary school. Our dads work together. It spiraled to our family’s vacationing together and me introducing him to baseball.”

A pang of jealousy hits at the realization that they’ve been friends for almost a decade. What’s it like to have a friend who knows almost everything about you?

“Oh.” That makes sense.

The rest of the lunch period is spent with them getting to know me. Asking what I like, and what I don’t like, and listening to Liam and James go back and forth with playful jabs. I’m a welcome bystander as I witness the easy-going friendship between the three of them.

Before I know it, lunch is over and we separate for our final two classes. My excitement is barely contained as I walk into my third class.

Orchestra.

Orchestra is my favorite class. I’ve been waiting for this class since I stepped foot in the school. It’s even more comforting knowing I’m in a group of freshmen so we’re not too overwhelmed.

When my parents introduced me to the violin in elementary school, I didn’t love it. I assumed it was a way to keep me occupied while they were working obscene hours. But it wasn’t until the night we sawPhantom of the Operaon Broadway. Wewere sitting up in the balcony at a show when I was about ten and instead of watching the show, I watched the orchestra in the pit. The strings moved me. From then on I’ve been entranced.

As a freshman, my classes are relatively easy. I took honors classes in middle school and luckily I was able to continue with them in high school. But music is simple. We spend the majority of the time doing introductions when I’m just itching to unzip my case and play. Unfortunately, we never get to that and the little light I had when I stepped foot in the expansive room dims by the time the bell rings.

I file out of the classroom and walk down the music hall to my final class of the day. My fourth class is one that I’m excited about.

Honors English.

I know that having two lawyer parents would make me more interested in history, or possibly math, but I’ve loved English and reading and writing since forever.

And as the groans from the other students sound around the room as the teacher mentions reports on our summer reading, I feel joy. Not that the other kids didn’t do the readings, okay maybe a little, but because this is the first class where the teacher is actually teaching.

With the hustle and bustle of that, my first day is over. Now I just have to remember my bus number.

“How many brothersdid you say you had?” I ask him as we wait for the bus.

We’ve been in school for two days and James and I are slowly making more conversation. I’m still slow to open up and hispatience is a godsend. But still, in these two days, he’s made me laugh more than anyone has in a while.

“I have an older brother and three younger brothers. Brandon is nineteen and is in his second year of college, Malcolm is nine, Evan is six, and then the baby is Ford who’s three.”

I look at him like he’s sprouted three heads. “There’s five of you? I can’t imagine–you must strive for quiet.”

“I don’t mind the noise.” James starts as he plucks wildflowers from the ground and links them together to make a bracelet. “But the quiet finally gives me a chance to think, to breathe. So I don’t regret the noise but I appreciate the quiet probably more than I should.”

James and I both came to the bus stop early. I think we made an unspoken pact to talk before we went our separate ways at school. I’m learning that we’re both introverts but once we get to talking the nerves are soothed away.

“I always wished I had siblings. It would’ve made for an even more enjoyable childhood. Especially during the summers and even Christmas…” My voice trails off as James grabs my arm and links the daisy chain around my wrist.

The gesture is so tiny, but causes my heart to skip a beat. I look up at James as he continues to look at my wrist. His cheeks have taken on a rosy hue.

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