Page 28 of Make It Without You

“Nothing is going to happen to you. Or to me.” Her voice is tight and I realize it’s taking everything in her to not blow up at me.

“Baby, nothing is guaranteed. I need you to promise me that you will live a full life. I need you to promise that you’ll love again and laugh as hard as you possibly can. Emily, I need you to promise me that.”

She shakes her head and the tears well up as if what I said is blasphemous. And it is. Because I can’t think of a time I would want to be apart from her.

“No. I won’t promise you anything. Because nothing’s going to happen to you.”

This is why I love her. Her fierce determination to not let something like a promise keep her down.

“Emily,” I turn and face her, boxing her face in my hands. “Baby, I need you to promise me that. I need you to promise that you can make it in this world without me. Please.”

I swipe the tears that have started to fall. Her trembling lips as she struggles to grasp the only wish I’ve ever made of her.

Emily brings her hands up to my wrists and holds on. As if holding onto me in this moment will keep us in this space for the rest of our lives.

“I promise,” she breathes out. “I promise to live a full life. I promise to make it without you.”

Hearing those words, as much as I needed to hear them from her, breaks my heart that one day goodbye will come whether we’re ready or not.

Emily

2017

“Hey, what’s up?” I hear James speak into what I’m guessing is his phone.

I go back to planning out activities for my class. I’ve been a kindergarten teacher for two years now. It’s been exciting, but also exhausting on top of planning our wedding.

We’re three months out from the big day. My dress has been chosen, along with the venue, guest list, the DJ, and our honeymoon hotel confirmation email was delivered to us this morning. I think James is just as, if not more, excited for our wedding. He’s been intrinsic in the planning and it’s a great sign for life as a married couple.

James’s voice rises as he tries to calm down whoever is on the other end of the phone. Putting my pen on the table, I get up and walk back to the bedroom to see him getting his shoes out of the closet. He must sense me because he looks up and mouthsLiam, and it explains everything.

Kamryn and Liam have been on rocky ground for the past year. Whatever happened recently must have shaken him up. I go back to the kitchen table and pick up my phone to text Kamryn.

Me: Hey, is everything okay?

Kam: No. Would you mind coming over?

Me: Not at all. I’ll be there soon.

Walking down the hall to the bedroom, I go to the closet and get my shoes right when James hangs up his phone.

“Liam and Kamryn must have broken up,” James announces.

My shoulders drop. “Huh. That must explain why Kamryn was so agreeable to me coming over. Are you going to see Liam?”

“Yeah. But first I wanna make out with my fiancée,” James claims as he reaches for me.

I gasp faux scandalized. “You’re engaged? How could you do this to me? I thought we were getting married?” I wrap my arms around his neck as he maneuvers us back to the bed.

“You’re the one I’m marrying, ya goof. And then after we’re married we can have all the fun in the world trying to bring little you’s into the world.”

The butterflies that swarm at his words take flight making me fall deeper in love with him. “Oh, Mr. Hayes, you say the sweetest things to me.”

My breath is stolen when his lips meet mine. We breathe into each other for seconds before James’s tongue is probing at my lips, begging for entrance. He devours me like a man starved and I meet his intensity as I rise to my tiptoes. His hands slide to the button of my jeans and flicks them open, pulling the zipper down as his hand dives into the front of my panties. His fingers find my clit, circling, before dipping into my entrance.

James’s arm is banded around my waist as he continues to kiss me like he’ll never get enough. Like he’s starved for air and I’m his supply of oxygen. His fingers slide in and out of my pussyas his thumb rubs circles and flicks my clit. The pressure he applies is enough for my orgasm to flow through me.

My body shakes as I pull my lips from his to take a much-needed breath. “I thought you just wanted to kiss me?” I tease him.

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