Page 24 of Make It Without You

“Where?” My question is devoid of emotion.

“Spain.” My mother’s short response was equal to my short response.

I knew the answer before I even asked the question. But I asked anyway for my piece of mind. “When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow. For about six months. Maybe more.”

I looked up at the ceiling. It wasn’t sad tears that burned the back of my eyes. But angry tears that they even had the decency to let me know they were leaving. “So my birthday, graduation, and my first day of college are the events you two want to miss? Any other big events of my life you two want to pencil yourself out of?”

“Sweetheart,” my dad started but I shut him down.

“No! My showcase was in December. I played in a packed auditorium. I brought the crowd to their feet. And that little girl who supported her parents with their career was crushed when she finally realized that her dreams meant absolutely nothingto them.” The tears fell hot down my face as if this wasn’t the tenth time I confronted my parents about their neglect. “But you know, it’s good that you two have shown me what it’s like to neglect their child. Because I’m making a promise, here and now, that I will never be like you two.”

The utensil that Gloria was holding clatters to the floor at the same time my mom’s shocked gasp is freed from her mouth.

A bitter smile that didn’t quite reach my face and tears that leaked out of the corner of my eyes slid down the sides of my face. “I used to be so proud to tell people what my parents do for a living. How they provided for me in a way they never thought they could. And I confidently said, every time someone asked about you two, that my parents loved me. Now I feel like such an idiot that they never loved me enough to put me first. So thank you, for letting me know that you two are going out of town. But to be quite frank, I wish you two wouldn’t have even bothered. Have a good trip.”

I walked out of the kitchen to the front door, slammed it shut, and ran over to James’s house. Knocking on the door, James’s Mom answered and gave me a sad smile when she saw the tears on my cheeks.

I’d like to say this didn’t happen often. But too many times my parents have disappointed me to where I needed to be somewhere that wasn’t connected to them. It’s sad that my parents are supposed to wipe away my tears when I’m hurt even though they’re the ones doing the hurting. I’ll never stop wanting my parent’s love and attention. But I can’t fight for people who won’t fight back.

Emily

August 2011

“First day of college. Are you ready?” Kamryn asks from the screen on my computer. She returned to college a week earlier to get back in the swing of things. But I know the true reason is that Mason is down there earlier for football practices before the season starts. So Kam and I have to resort to ooVoo Facetime calls to see each other.

“I’m so ready. But I am surprised you’re not sitting on Mason’s lap at this moment.” I tease my best friend.

“Hardy-har-har,” Kam chides. “He’s at practice. But we are meeting up later for dinner.”

Seeing my best friend in love is all I ever wanted.

“Speaking of boys, hey loser.” I turn around to see her addressing James.

James holds up his arms and bangs his fists together. Flipping Kamryn off Ross Geller style.

I can’t stop the huff of laughter. “On that note, we’re going to head to campus. Kam, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay. Bye, you two!”

Closing out of Facetime, I turn to James with my brow arched. “You two act like siblings most of the time.”

“It’s so much fun,” James claims. “What’s on your schedule for the day?”

Pulling out my planner, I turn to August and see my first day lined up. “All intro classes. I have three today, with my last class done at noon. My goodness, I love college.”

“And I love you, my little nerd.” James says as he frames my face with his hands and leans in to kiss me.

He tries to pry my lips open but I back away because if I don’t he’ll keep us here all day. “What time are you done?”

“Oh, I only have one class today and that’s done at noon, too. I’m going in early to speak with my advisor,” he says matter-of-factly.

“If you say so.”

“I do. Now get your cute butt in gear and let’s get to campus.” James pats me on the behind and strolls out of my room to the kitchen to most likely chat with Gloria.

I gather the rest of my things and meet them there.

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