Page 109 of Make It Without You

“Handle what, sweetheart?”

“Change! Okay? I can’t handle change!” I yell as the tears fall down my face. “I never handled it well as a kid and I clearly can’t handle it as an adult.”

“What’s changing, sweetheart?” My mom asks.

“Everything. Adam asked me to move in, he’s about to be in a custody battle with his ex-wife, and I got a third grade teaching offer. All of those came one after the other and it was like my system went into shutdown mode.”

My dad looks at me knowingly. “And you thought if you could eliminate two of those changes the third wouldn’t be so bad.”

My gaze falls to the floor and I nod like a child being punished.

“Emily, you are adaptable,” my mom starts as she holds my face in her smooth hands. “And maybe that’s on us for making that happen when you were a kid.” She wipes away the tears that won’t stop. “But running away from these changes won’t make them go away. They’ll still be there if you and Adam give it another shot.”

“What if I screwed it up?”

“Honey, he flew all the way to New York when you told him not to. If you asked, I’m sure he would be waiting once the changes ironed themselves out.”

My lips tremble as I remember the broken look on his face. “You didn’t see his face.”

“If it looks anywhere remotely close to what yours looks like I’m sure it’d be like looking in a mirror.”

I can’t even muster a smile. At that moment, I knew the decision I was making was a bad one. But at the time I was so sure it was the right one.

Adam

I’ve been an irritable asshole. My parents told me my words have consequences. I thought they were joking and used it as a scare tactic. Turns out they were right. Parents usually are.

Chelsea is still holding strong. We’ve tried mediation but that got us nowhere. Now we’re waiting on a court date. So, yeah. Between Emily putting a pause, or a break, on us I’ve been an asshole. Maybe she was right to make that call. But she made the decision for me.

The only place I’m barely an asshole is at work. And I mean barely. I tend to stay in my office the majority of the time I’m there. But today I’ve decided to help out at the bar. It’s not so busy for a Tuesday night, which isn’t unusual. But it’s summer.

Movement from the corner of my eye takes me in that direction. And the last person I expected to come into my place of work was Mason Brooks. I don’t move from where I’m polishing a glass that’s spotless. I know it’s rude of me and I have a hunch I know what he’s about to say.

He takes a seat in front of me and waits until he recognizes I’m not about to say anything. “You know I broke up with Kamryn in college?”

My eyes fly up to him above the glass to see his gaze firmly fixed on me. Other patrons have started whispering about the Bengals QB being in my restaurant. But still, he pays them no mind.

“I know. How could a couple so perfect have broken up?” Mason makes a joke.

I put the clean glass back and grab another, filling it up with ice water and placing it in front of him.

Mason huffs out a breath, his hands encircling the glass. “I had my reason for doing it. But it doesn’t mean that decision didn’t affect me.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“My fiancé came home from work frustrated with a decision her best friend was thinking of making. I couldn’t see it at the time because I thought things just weren’t working out. But then Rynny compared it to our break up.”

“No offense,” I start and pick up another glass to polish. “But our situations are nothing alike.”

“You’re right. They’re nothing alike. But the pain is all the same.”

I look at Mason and the haze from my heartache clears just a little. “I miss her more than anything. And maybe…maybe she was right to break us up. Maybe I should have prepared her for what’s to come.”

“Do you love her?”

“More than anything,” I confess.

“Then hold onto that.”

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