Page 48 of Make It Without You

Parking my truck, I look out at the town square and at the small amount of people walking around. It is mid-December and with the chill from the river swooping in it’s not shocking with how sparse the area is.

My mind goes into overdrive as I wonder why today of all days Emily reached out to me. I slide my body out of my truck and walk towards the coffee shop. I tug my beanie over my ears and shove my hands in my jacket pocket to keep from completely freezing as I walk to the entrance.

I’m not sure why my heart is pounding. It’s just coffee.

With a woman I can’t stop thinking about.

In a twist of perfect timing, Emily and I walk up to the coffee shop at the same time.

The wind whips loose tendrils of hair across her face and her cheeks take on a rosy hue from the cold. I’ve now seen her at night at my restaurant, at a parent-teacher conference, and nowat the coffee shop. She gets more and more beautiful. I have to drop my gaze down to my feet to gather my thoughts.

“Hi,” she begins by way of greeting.

“Hey yourself.” I volley back.Hey yourself?My fingers curl into my palms until the bite of my nails has me clenching my jaw.

She makes an awkward hand gesture towards the door. “Shall we?”

“Oh, right.” I move around her and open the door. She gives me a small smile as she walks across the threshold.

The smell of coffee hits me and soothes my mind. Espresso beans being ground mix with the sounds of a contemporary music soundtrack. Only a few tables are occupied. Since it’s winter break, the college students have gone home for the month, leaving the locals to come out of hibernation.

The barista greets us at the counter and I can’t help but mentally comment on the customer service. “Are we going to be together or separate?”

It seems we both have brain farts because it takes a moment for our brains to catch up with our mouths.

Emily opens her mouth to respond, but I beat her to it, “Together please.”

The barista's friendly smile almost makes me forget about the open-mouthed face Emily is trying to hide. Tack on the red flush covering her face and I know she didn’t think about this step either.

I motion for Emily to rattle off her order and then I step up to do the same. Once I pay, we both survey the space for a table. Emily makes the first move and picks one right by the window, overlooking the courtyard with the downtown cityscape in the background.

When we’re both settled, I survey her. She looks lighter than the last time I saw her. Her eyes no longer hold deep, aching sadness.

“Why are you staring at me?” Emily questions me.

I try to hold back a smile that wants to take over. “Do you really want to know?”

Her mouth twists before she nods her head in response.

“You look lighter.”

“Um…”

Leaning forward, I rest my arms on the table. “I mean lighter in the sense that you don’t look so weighed down by life.”

She surveys me the same way I did her. I’m assuming she found what she was looking for if it’s any indication by the small smile that lifts her cheeks. “I decided at the last minute to go home for Thanksgiving break. It was incredibly messy. But also freeing in a way I didn’t expect it to be.”

My name being called for our drinks pulls me away from Emily. A mutual smile is held between us before I head up to the counter. I place a five dollar bill in the tip jar before grabbing our drinks and head back to the table.

“Thank you.” Emily tells me as she accepts her drink.

“Anytime. So you went home for your break? Why was it messy?”

She blows out a breath and leans back in her chair. “My parents and I have a loving but complicated relationship. It’s been like that since high school and hasn’t gotten out of the ‘it’s complicated’ phase.”

“Why was it complicated?”

“They moved us out of the city when I was going into high school with the reasoning being for me. They wanted me to have the normal high school experience in a home, but that didn’t necessarily include them being there. So I was left to be a teenager in a new school without my parent’s home to greet mewhen I got back from school. They missed a lot. And I don’t think they’ve forgiven themselves enough to move forward.”

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