Page 111 of Make It Without You

My hands sweat and I grip the steering wheel tighter as we inch closer to the entrance. Our truck and two others are the next bunch for drop-offs. When we get to the front of the line, I see her. My gaze hones in on her like a laser beam. As soon as I stop the truck Dylan opens the door to leave.

“Hey, mister!” I call out and tap my cheek for a kiss before he hops out of my truck.

Dylan pecks my cheek with a slobbery kiss and I’m a bad father if I say that my focus has been on Emily the entire time. Does she think about me?

She gives Dylan a warm smile when he walks over to her. I never thought I’d be jealous of my kid. But I am.

I wait for her to look back up and when she does, I give her a small smile and a wave before I’m driving away from the school.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I check my email while at a stoplight and see an email from Max. Reading the contents of the email, I get to the end and see a date.

“December?!” I screech when he answers the phone.

“I did my best to avoid going to court. But Adam, she’s making a good enough case,” Max tries his best to calm me over the phone.

“She’s not even thinking about Dylan and how this could affect him,” I say as I throw my head back against the headrest. “So what next?”

If Chelseawerethinking about Dylan, which I know she’s not, then maybe I could excuse her actions. But I can’t.

“CPS will come and do an interview and they’ll inspect Dylan’s home life.”

I grind my back teeth so hard they might crack. “Who’s getting interviewed?”

“You and Dylan.”

“He’s just a kid, Max,” I say as I swallow around the ball of emotions clogging my throat.

“I know Adam. I hate that this is happening to you. The court has assigned a social worker to your case. It’s standard for cases like this.”

Max explains what’s to happen next, but I black it out. December. We go to court in December. It’s then that I’ll let a judge listen to whatever lies Chelsea spews. I won’t let her take my son. She may have birthed him. But I was the one to love and care for him unconditionally. He’s mine. And he always will be mine.

Emily

Two months. It’s been two months without Adam. Oh, I’ve seen him every morning for school drop-off. And every single day my heart aches with the need to be with him. To run my hands through his shoulder-length hair. To stare into those forest green eyes that are identical to his son’s. To trace the tattoos that cover his body.

I miss him more than words can explain.

In these two months without him, I finally started seeing a therapist. It was long overdue and the girls told me exactly that.

The sessions have been painful. We went back to the beginning. Back to the root of my issues. My parents, their abandonment and neglect during my childhood. We talk about James and how, because my parents weren’t around, I developed an attachment style relationship with him. Did I confuse attention with love? No. I loved James. No one can dispute that.

I’m packing up my things at the end of the day when Melissa stops by.

“Hey, stranger,” she greets me when she’s at my door.

“Ugh, I miss having my classroom across from yours.” I tell her as I go to hug her.

“Ditto. So how’s life?”

I move back to my desk and blow out a breath. “It’s going. How are you and your beau?”

“We’re good. We finally set a wedding date.”

“That’s incredible,” I tell my friend with a forced smile.

“Thanks. Tell me how you’re really doing.”

---