Page 90 of The Night We Met

Mason continues to rub circles along my back.

“I was broken. Or I thought I was broken. Opening the box of Liam’s things made me unfixable.”

“What was in the box, baby?”

“I thought Liam didn’t want a forever. But that damn box had a ring in it.”

I can’t get any more words out. I don’t need to.

Mason lays us down on the bed. He comforts me.

Part of growing up is realizing that words don’t need to be said in a grand way. It’s the actions that are meant to do more than the words can say. Mason comforting me in his quiet way says way more than his words ever could.

Mason

Ipush myself harder on the treadmill after practice. Leaving Kamryn this morning was tough. And while I’m grateful for how early practice was, I was also grateful to put some space between us. Hearing that Liam bought a ring for her makes me realize that I could have lost her for good.

I’ll never be able to express how badly I felt when I broke her heart. When I broke our hearts. The amount of rookies that came into the league with the support of a significant other made their game that much better. While I didn’t struggle my first couple of years, I didn’t enjoy it the way I hoped I would.

I’m not a vengeful person. But seeing my teammates having that support spurred something in me. When I had a break from football I jumped on the phone with the athletic director at CSU. I let him know of the conversation Coach had with me and how unethical it was that I should not have any type of romantic relationships while attempting to go pro. I may have been two years too late, but someone else needed to know. The repercussion of that life shakingmoment has affected my game more than it’s helped. As the athletic director is a former NFL pro-bowler, who proposed to his then college girlfriend and now wife of twenty years, he made it a point to listen to my frustration. I didn’t want what happened to me to happen to anyone else that declared for the draft.

“Brooks!” Someone shouts from behind me and breaks me from my thoughts from that time in my life. I stumble to a stop and grab the towel next to me to wipe off my sweat.

Rolling off the treadmill I see my offensive coordinator standing in the doorway.

Panting out a “Sir” while I drop to the floor for some body weight exercises. This goes beyond what I’m set to do for the season.

I feel him burning a hole through my head. Knowing I won’t get away with pushing my body further. “What’s on your mind Mason?” His voice is closer as he takes a seat on the bench beside me.

“Personal things, sir.”

“Alright. Stop working yourself to the bone. And tell me what’s going on. That’s an order.”

Stopping myself from more bodily torture, I place my arms overtop of my knees and say, “I found out my girlfriend could have been engaged had her previous boyfriend not died. And I kicked myself for breaking up with her to be able to get drafted.” The silence is louder than the loudest football stadium as I look at my coach and wait for him to say something.

“I question your college coach’s morals for having you do that. Is your girlfriend going to affect how you play this season?”

“No sir. I played better when I was with her in college. She pushed me to become a friend, a teammate, and a bettercaptain. My stats improved. She was the best part of playing in college.”

“For that I hope your coach gets reprimanded. But why are you beating yourself up? Running yourself ragged is not a healthy way to let out your frustration that life could have gone in a different way. You can’t change the past anymore than you can predict the future.”

“I don’t know,” I huff out. “I guess it just got me thinking that I could’ve lost her forever, you know?”

When I didn’t think other people were in the cards for us, her getting engaged to someone was not something I mentally prepared myself for. Had Liam lived would they have gotten engaged? Would Kamryn even live in Cincinnati?

“Don’t dwell on the ‘what ifs’ because it’s not healthy. All you’ll do is drive yourself crazy. My advice is to talk to your girlfriend. You’re both adults and communication is the key to a successful relationship.”

Coach gets up to leave and I thank him before he’s out the door. I really have no reason to feel any type of way about Liam and Kamryn. But it doesn’t sting any less to know about the ring.

Kamryn: Hey, are you coming back to my place?

I left her asleep in her bed with a short text of ‘Practice. Be by later.’ I had no clue what else to say.

Me: Yeah, baby. Let me clean up here and then I’ll be over.

“Kamryn?” I question when I walk into her house. She never locks the front door when she’s home and I, along with her sister and friends, have told her how unsafe it is.

I distantly hear, “In the backyard.” So I empty my pockets, give Poppy some head scratches, and make my way to her backyard. Her patio doors are open and I lean against the doorframe as I watch her work. Seeing this new side of her: the focused and wholly talented side of her, brings me more joy than I could possibly explain.

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